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Communist Literature CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Scientists at the The Mayo Clinic came to the conclusion that old people are more likely to die after the recent death of Bertha Madeline "Bobcat" Swanson, master gardener, beloved grandmother, and certified old person. The study began three years ago, when five old people died at The Shadyside old folks home within the same week. At that point, The Mayo Clinic dropped their study on a miracle cure for cancer, and began a study on the elderly. "We were all so occupied with this old folks study, everything else seemed unimportant," said Lisa Garber, head of research Tuesday, "When I was at home, all I could think about was getting back to the lab and working. Now that it's all over, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe go home, take a nap, cry into a quart of ice cream... Er... I mean... Eat a nice dinner... Yeah, that's what I meant... Anyway, this was probably our biggest breakthrough since we figured out that bears actually do shit in the woods (who knew?), so I guess I can be happy about that. Although in hindsight, throwing a party might not have been the best thing to do, seeing as there was a death and all..." The study in question consisted of the "old group" and three control groups (toddlers, young adults, and middle aged). The toddlers have yet to die, but the last person in the middle aged group was killed four days after Bertha, in a midlife crisis. When asked to comment, Lisa Garber merely said, "Let's just say his parachute had a hole in it..." Additionally, the last person in the young adult group, Jonathan White, nearly died after a head injury. However, after being admitted to the hospital, he did die of an accidental morphine overdose. One of our reporters was there, but was unfortunately out of the room at the time of death. The shady man standing next to Jonathan's body refused to comment. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · All You Need To Know Is... *... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?	The People's Controlled Media Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes.. oh wait, we just jinxed them On This Day... May 20: Visions of the Virgin Mary Day (South America). 1492 - Christina Columbus, the illegitimate daughter of a mediocre sailor, discovers a new continent, only to have her father Christopher claim the discovery as his own. 1551 - For an entire year, people make lame jokes about anagrams and dying of syphilis. 1732 - Queen Victoria, the Virgin Queen, declares war on France. Again. 1927 - Charles Lindbergh impresses two continents and wins a load of cash. 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales makes an unsuccessful attempt to kill Hitler. The two later become the best of friends. 1932 - Popeye is introduced to Extra Virgin Olive Oyl. 2004 - MaCaulay Culkin finally loses his virginity while falling from a cliff.
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Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month Writer Here NooB Here Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

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Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

CommUnNews The news source on crack

CommUncyclopedia The capitalist-free encyclopedia

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CommUnMeta How Communpedia doesn't work

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Communpedia languages

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Communpedia English		Inciclopedia Español	Désencyclopédie Français		Nonsensopedia Polski
Ikkepedia Norsk		Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά	Nonciclopedia Italiano		伪基百科 简化字
Desciclopédia Português		Eincyclopedia עברית	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk		アンサイク ロペディア 日本語
Psyklopedin Svenska		Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch	Hikipedia Suomi		Unciklopédia Magyar
Абсурдопедия Русский		Keinziklopedie יידיש	Valenciclopèdia Valencian		偽基百科 正體中文
اونسایکلوپدیا فارسی (Persian·Farsi)	Onziclopedie Nederlands	لاويكيبيديا العربية	Necyclopædia Latina	Necyklopedie A CzechBook	Neciklopedija Српски
언사이클로피디어 한국어	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy	Absurdipēdijā Latviešu	Nunyepedia Asturianu	Butalopedija Slovenščina
	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,696 articles. Uncyclopedias are also being written in many other languages:

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