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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature The Thunderstorm of 1976 was the largest torrential downpour of precipitation I have ever witnessed in my life. I also kicked its ass. It lasted approximately four hours over Kansas City, Missouri. It was determined to flood the entire Midwest and drown every carbon-based lifeform within Kansas City, and it would have done exactly that if not for my efforts to utterly destroy it. Oh God, where do I even start. Well, I was sitting at home watching the Royals/Yankees game with Ernesto, our home's gardener. All of a sudden, from outside, I hear, "FFFFFAFFFGHGHGHGAAAFFAAANG'HNNNNGAIUSJULIUSCEASAR NNNNN AAAAAAA ANNNAANAAAAA" Having an experienced ear, I knew it was the sound of fat water droplets descending from the sky and landing upon my roof (also, someone saying "Julius Caesar"). I quickly changed stations to the local news. They were warning everyone to stay inside. Right about this time my wife walked in. She shouts, "Oh Jon, you big, sexy, well-endowed epitome of man! What are we going to do?!" I simply looked at her, giving her that look of, "Shut up woman, get on my horse." (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day May 22: Sit Around and Watch Old Movies Day 1176 - The Hashshashin try to assassinate Saladin, but they accidentally leap towards the guard next to him. 1936 - Joseph Stalin enters his tye dye phase, it lasts one day. 1947 - Harry S. Truman, to curb the spread of Soviet influence, volunteers to sit outside the iron curtain, toting a double-barreled shotgun. 1964 - Lyndon B. Johnson launches the Great Society, forces citizens to tuck their shirts in and brush their teeth. 1999 - First AOL CDs sent back in time. 2001 - Clustered bonbons in a freezer briefly develop sentience, die alone and afraid like we all will. 2015 - Ireland becomes the first country to enter into a same-sex marriage after marrying Scotland. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day Your content probably contains one or more equal signs (=), use |1=. edit News Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes.. oh wait, we just jinxed them Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? Do you worry... ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? Read Many
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