User:JJPMaster/mp

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
37,700 articles in English

From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Evil Jesus, the Messiah to all evil, not-so-evil, and irritable people, is the kind of Messiah who starts a brawl and then stands back to videotape the show. He's the type of Saviour who complains about your favorite movie while his guys lift your wallet. And contrary to popular belief, he is not a friend to the poor. He couldn't care less about them.

Yet Evil Jesus is talented in a twisty sort of way. He is responsible for all supernatural events. Ouija boards, psychic mediums, hauntings, out-of-body and in-the-body experiences, and all unnatural end-around's are Evil Jesus' bread and butter. Because of this, many poets and journalists confuse Evil Jesus with the antichrist. Yet he is very much the opposite of both Christ and antichrist. He's a veritable metaphysical Houdini!

Evil Jesus was born October 12 in 0 BC to 13-year-old Holy Milf Mary and her 85-year-old boytoy, Joey. Because they lived before the formation of Vatican City, which allows you to hump a 12-year-old while standing in line at the communion rail, they told everyone God had humped Mary to keep the authorities away from "Pedo Joe". But they hadn't needed to worry about it, because soon after Jesus was born Joey drank himself to death on a bet. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know... [edit]

... that there's only one word in the vocabulary of a customer service representative? (Pictured)

... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?

Archive · Suggest new entries

In the news [edit]

Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States

Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit
Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy
Michael Jackson comes back to life
Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh
Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict
Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity

UnNews Main · Archive

On this day [edit]

June 1: International Children's Day

1212 - Over thirty-thousand peasant children march to the Holy Land to drive the wicked Saracens from Jerusalem! Saracens rejoice at wholesale savings.
1853 - Concept of childhood invented to annoy parents, before this, children were treated like malformed little people who turned into adults when belted enough.
1943 - After months of rigorous testing, German scientists finally disprove theory that boys are made out of snips, snails and puppy dog tails.
1954 - Beloved novel about the inherent savagery of British children is published, is immediately banned in the U.S due to perceived homosexual undertones.
1979 - Film adaptation of Newbery Award winning novel, The Dog Who Went to Heaven Because he Died, wins another Newbery Award.
1991 - Little boy who lives down the street dies from rat poison hidden in strangers' candy, and disrespecting his grandpa.
2006 - Widespread protests following allegations that the CIA tortured Jihadis by making them eat cafeteria food.

Archive · View today · View tomorrow

Picture of the day

A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred."

Image credit: Zombiebaron
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
Formatting – for help on editing
Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
Community portal – for general community shenanigans

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,700 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.