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From today's featured article
It's another sunny day in Cairo, an idle taxi driver standing by his car is approached by a good looking American female reporter..
Reporter: Hi
Egyptian: wa aleikom es-salam ya otta!
Reporter: Do you speak English?
Egyptian: Berfect!
Reporter: Do you mind if I interview you?
Egyptian: Interfiew?! (narrows eyes in distrust) you mukhabarat? I didn't do anysing! I am good Egybtian! I did not show za photo of za brezident wearing dress!
Reporter: ... Sir, I'm a reporter for--
Egpytian: Oh, you no mukhabarat? Nevar mind. Forget I say anysing about za brezident in dress. He is very man.
Reporter: (looking baffled) Name?
Egyptian: Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo.
Reporter: Sex?
Egyptian: Yes blease. You want to do in taxi? It's very nice. Nearly has air-condition and za chairs are camel lezar. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Albert Einstein's likeness has been used to sell pornography? (Pictured)
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
In the news
- Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit
- Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy
- Michael Jackson comes back to life
- Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh
- Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
- YouTube is dead
- D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
- Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support
- Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
- NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
- Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
- Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
- Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
- Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict
Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity
On this day
June 4: International Smack-A-Kid Day
- 1452 - Christopher Columbus outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, "The Shitbag".
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson asks for first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence.
- 1863 - Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday day to be put off until next day; mass confusion results.
- 1900 - John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, Pennsylvania, awakes from forty-year sleep, dies of asphyxiation inside coffin.
- 1942 - The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami.
- 1980 - Every child abuse offender is released in Texas due to prison overcrowding and a decline in child abuse.
- 1989 - Chinese children are put in tanks and forced to run over screaming protesters in Tiananmen Square.
Picture of the day
"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?" Image credit: Modusoperandi |
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