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37,704 articles in English

From today's featured article [Feature an article]

It's another sunny day in Cairo, an idle taxi driver standing by his car is approached by a good looking American female reporter..

Reporter: Hi

Egyptian: wa aleikom es-salam ya otta!

Reporter: Do you speak English?

Egyptian: Berfect!

Reporter: Do you mind if I interview you?

Egyptian: Interfiew?! (narrows eyes in distrust) you mukhabarat? I didn't do anysing! I am good Egybtian! I did not show za photo of za brezident wearing dress!

Reporter: ... Sir, I'm a reporter for--

Egpytian: Oh, you no mukhabarat? Nevar mind. Forget I say anysing about za brezident in dress. He is very man.

Reporter: (looking baffled) Name?

Egyptian: Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo.

Reporter: Sex?

Egyptian: Yes blease. You want to do in taxi? It's very nice. Nearly has air-condition and za chairs are camel lezar. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Albert Einstein's likeness has been used to sell pornography? (Pictured)

... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!

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In the news [edit]

Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States

Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit
Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy
Michael Jackson comes back to life
Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh
Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict
Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity

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On this day [edit]

June 4: International Smack-A-Kid Day

1452 - Christopher Columbus outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, "The Shitbag".
1776 - Thomas Jefferson asks for first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence.
1863 - Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday day to be put off until next day; mass confusion results.
1900 - John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, Pennsylvania, awakes from forty-year sleep, dies of asphyxiation inside coffin.
1942 - The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami.
1980 - Every child abuse offender is released in Texas due to prison overcrowding and a decline in child abuse.
1989 - Chinese children are put in tanks and forced to run over screaming protesters in Tiananmen Square.

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Picture of the day

"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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