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I was a little dubious when my dear friend Leonidas suggested that tonight we dine in Hell. But he assured me that it was the up and coming place for both "being seen" and for the best in quality cuisine. As he has had such a hard time recently, what with madness, betrayal and ultimately being slaughtered, I felt that it was only fair he decided on the venue for our tête-à-tête, dubious though I was about the skill of the head chef at this establishment.
My first impression of the ambiance was not good. I found it rather dark and oppressive, although the fire pits did give a somewhat cheery glow to the surroundings. As soon as I announced my name the head waiter was only too pleased to ensure we had the best of tables of course. I chose one close to a fire pit that was mostly unoccupied, which kept the amount of distracting screaming to a minimum.
I spotted my dear friend Hitler over on another table. I've not seen him for years now, so I knew he would be overjoyed to see me again. Sadly the spikes that were holding him to the table as he was buggered by two ostriches prevented him from greeting me in the proper manner. I took his screams of pain as he obviously intended them, as cries of pleasure at my presence.
I chose to start with the deviled eggs. My companion started with a simple red-hot poker up the ass, administered efficiently by our host. My eggs were unusual, with the added sulfur and brimstone tasting rather tart but not unpleasant. The general impression was of a more meaty dish than I expected, with a unusual salty after-taste. Indeed, they were more reminiscent of oysters than of eggs. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
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Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States
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Writer and Noob of the Month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| Complete Bibliography
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| 8/3/2007
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Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
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| 7/22/2007
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Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
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| 7/21/2007
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UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!)
Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
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| 7/4/2007
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Benjamin Franklinstein
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| 7/4/2007
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Jolt Cola (rewrite)
Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
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| 7/3/2007
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Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...)
Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
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| 6/26/2007
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The Human Element – waiting for pee review
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| 6/19/2007
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Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
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| 2/15/2007
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Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
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| 2/10/2007
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National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
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| 2/9/2007
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UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
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| 2/5/2007
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Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
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| 2/5/2007
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Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
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| 1/18/2007
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Jolt Cola
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| 1/16/2007
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UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
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| 6/3/2006
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Minimalist talk page
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| 6/3/2006
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Deep Note
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| 3/4/2006
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Geocities (really crappy original version)
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| 1/9/2006
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I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
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| 11/30/2005
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Celine Dionide
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| 11/20/2005
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Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
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| 11/3/2005
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UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
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