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Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 37,710 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? *... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)? ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? *... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)? ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?	News to whine about Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.." Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... June 8: Your Friends are Totally Trying to Kill You Day 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory. 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee. (Pictured) 1798 - North Dakota moves from the south of South Dakota to the north of South Dakota, to better fit its name. 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union after being called a pussy by South Carolina. 1949 - Author George Orwell writes his seminal classic, Nineteen Eighty-Four, thirty-five years two early. 1977 - Kanye West drops a generation-defining EP minutes after being born. 2017 - You read this entry, but you wished you hadn't bothered.
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