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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

The Reverse Holocaust is a term referring to a handful of hypothetical situations a variety of freewheeling philosophers like to occasionally throw around. These situations range from the metaphorical Reverse Holocaust, to the most literal Reverse Holocaust, and every Reverse Holocaust in between. Despite decades of arguing, philosophers of all camps have yet to decide on which situation is the objective "best."

Adolf Hitler kickstarted the Reverse Holocaust philosophy machine in the 1930s by implementing the Forward Holocaust, or "Holocaust" for short. This was a critical moment in philosophy history, and without it, thoughts of a Reverse Holocaust would just be a fevered dream of some redheaded madman. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)

... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?

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In the news [edit]

Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
YouTube is dead
D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: O. J. Simpson · Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's whole mans career
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes (watch this jinx them lol)

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On this day [edit]

May 15: Feast of St. Kielbasa (Poland)

269 - Saint Kielbasa, patron saint of charred meats and finger licking, is martyred over a hot grill and served on a kebab. (Pictured)
1524 - First Running of the Bulls held in Chicago: Michael Jordan gores two unlucky fans and Dennis Rodman is put down after breaking his hind leg.
1852 - Former Queen of Wisconsin hands over his royal cheese crown over to President James K. Polk, in an unabashed show of American imperialism.
1898 - Country of Italy founded, Italians relieved after spending all week looking for it.
1976 - International Society of Procrastinators debate forming organization, decide to do it later.
1999 - Bill Clinton announces that America will create the world's first edible veggie burger, "Not because it's easy, but because it's hard!"

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Picture of the day

Unfortunately, despite traditional farmers' resilience across the ages, the "American Gothic" lifestyle just isn't what it used to be.

Image credit: Splaka
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