User:Kippy/UnSignpostbullshit

I was asked to write a guest editorial, so let's get this over with. In the spirit of the Christmas and/or holiday season, I would like to offer an olive branch of peace. We could all use a little more peace around here. Well, not here, per se, because drama is always welcomed amusement for me. More so in places like the Middle East. The Middle East needs to calm the fuck down and Uncyclopedia needs to be more like the Middle East is what I'm trying to say.

Still, sometimes drama isn't always amusing. Such as in this case, in which I won't be on the front page next month after, I mean, if (point for humility) I win an award because someone is having a pissy fit over some bollocks and removed the awards from the front page. In this particular case, we need to pee on the fire rather than fan the flames. The conflict I'm referring to is between two celebrated users, Thekillerfroggy and SPIKE. The root of this tension stems from the fact that TKF thinks SPIKE is the worse person ever and should leave this site, or at least stop sucking his own dick. Basically, SPIKE is to TKF what Toby is to Michael on The Office. Particularly if there were a British equivalent to Toby. God, that's a good show. Or was. It really blows now.

Let me just say that you both have your faults. TKF: You need to stop being a dick, even when it is more hilarious than when it isn't. You appear to be in a drunken rage. I realize it's Hanukkah, but you should really tone it down on the whine.

And SPIKE: Well, I just think you're a textbook case of someone who needs to masturbate more. I suggest you start December 25th, when you're having a less than sufficient amount of fun reading my holiday themed articles.

Despite these differences, you both have one thing in common: You're Uncyclopedians. And the essence of being an Uncyclopedian is about appreciating the art of comedy. When the world is at its darkest we rely on the light of humor, parody and satire. Some have said that Uncyclopedia is at its darkest point right now, that our brightest days are far behind. Yet if the annual winter solstice teaches us anything, it's that the brightest days always follow the darkest nights.

Or some sugary moral message like that. I mostly just wanted to drop a few horrible puns and get away with insulting you both all over the site. Merry Christmas!