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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? *... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? *... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?	News to whine about Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: O. J. Simpson · Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) On this day... May 13: Nobody's Independence Day Day 28 - Jesus Christ comes home drunk at 3:45 in the morning, Mary wants him out of the house to get a job. 1568 - The forces of Mary, Queen of Scotch are defeated by Irish Whiskey freedom–fighters. 1917 - Three peasant children claim to have seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Fatima, Portugal. They deny it has anything to do with the marijuana they found growing there. 1992 - Sharon Stone gets laid on TV for the first time in history. 2003 - Saturday Night Live is still on the air, despite protests and an economic blockade by Cuba. 2005 - God sues eBay claiming that sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin at all. (Pictured) 2010 - Nuclear missiles are launched at Finland, smug bastards finally get what's coming to them. 2074 - I finally find my house keys.
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