Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Trbabb/Delicacy

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User:Trbabb/Delicacy[edit source]

relatively new user, first real new article.

  • is it funny?
  • need more links-- suggestions?
  • need funny picture-- suggestions?
  • feel like story ending could maybe be stronger/more consistent-- advice?
  • other advice
  • if it is good, how do I move it to the main section of the site without it getting deleted immediately?

Trbabb 12:11, 31 March 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6 The story was very well written, but unfortunately, it was not funny. The only part that was funny was the last sentence, the one sentence claiming that delicacy actually refers to crap. Everything else in the story actually sounds true and plausible. I do not know if there is a section in Uncyclopedia for stories… let me ask an admin and I will get to your talk page with this, because I honestly think this could be the start of UnStories or something. I would recommend you read HTBFANJS, and see what you can work into this. This article is not stupid, but could use work in the story body.
Concept: 9 A very outstanding concept, and you played with it very well. I did enjoy the satire that you put in, and how you worked the story into making “Delicacy” a disgusting food that people eat only because they are told to. I do think that you could take satire up a bit more by using some examples, such as Sushi and Octopus legs, or maybe Pizza!... wait… that actually does taste good…
Prose and formatting: 8 A concisely written article that gets to the point, has a good flow, and a decent sentence structure. What is noticeably missing is categories, which, if you wrote this article, you probably already know what categories are. If you don’t, leave me a message. If you do, I would recommend Food, Things that are definitely out to get you, Evil, and Crap.
Images: 0 You did mention that you need images, and here is a place you can look for them. From looking through the article, I think the best image would be to find one of a caveman eating, and throw in a giant bug for him to eat, and as the second image, someone at a French restaurant eating something that looks horrific. Try looking around on Google Images, bound to be something out there.
Miscellaneous: 5.75 Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines
Final Score: 28.75 Overall, I vividly enjoyed this read, but everything can use work. This is the homework you could do
  1. Place in an image of a caveman eating the bug
  2. Place an image of a “delicacy” being eaten, despite it looking horrific. If played well, feces might go in place.
  3. Read HTBFANJS
  4. Place in relevant categories, I realize that the ones I suggested ‘’’might’’’ not be the best

I will give praise where it is deserved, you had a very good article going, but prose and concept do not always a funny story make. While this article DEFINITALLY does not deserve to be deleted, it needs what I already indicated. I will ask an admin if an UnStories already exists, and leave a message on your talk. When you are ready to mainspace this article, leave a message on my talk page.

Reviewer: Warm Regards, Javascap


NOTE AFTER REVIEW: I found This, which is where I think this story should be moved to.