Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Neodymium (Second Review)

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Neodymium

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Burnsbrianna 19:28, 11 March 2008 (UTC)

Humour:	3	Hate to be too critical, but I found next to nothing that was even vaguely humorous in this entire article. You tried, from what I understand, to poke fun at a satanic metal (and failed epically). Believe me, jokes about cults are rarely funny, attachment of censoring can be funny if used properly (which it wasn’t), and the light stabs at the evils of Neodymium, frankly, bombed. My recommendation is to read over HTBFANJS. Then read it again. And again. After you have read it for content three times, spend more then 15 seconds thinking of each joke before you add it in.
Concept:	6	While this concept is hardly unique, I felt tempted to give you a 6 rather then a 5 because of the angle you have attempted to attack Neodymium from. I have not seen many articles attaching a rare earth metal to pure evil, but however unique this might have been, you did not present it in a humorous fashion. Without a worthy sense of humour, I do not hand out high concept scores.
Prose and formatting:	1	Quite frankly, your grammar is appalling. “only cults and those who believe in this stuff does this.” Sounds incredibly awkward right off the bat, and that is only one example. “ATM's and other money spitting out devices” “Uses for this deadly substance include use in making magnets” and “Nobody knows why it is claimed to work” are even more dramatic examples. For the love of the Sophia, work on your grammar, PLEASE.
Images:	4	In this average length article, I would have expected to see two pictures, one with a more serious caption and one to deliver the punch line. The one image you have could have done both, but it didn’t. Take my word on this, MS Paint SUCKS for making high quality pictures, and using spray paint for blood effects has been done before, almost always to ill results. Unless the point of the picture is to be of poor quality (Which, from this article, I gather is NOT the point), try to increase the image quality, or for the time being, steal an image from another article.
Miscellaneous:	3.5	Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines.
Final Score:	17.5	This article really needs a lot of work to get it up to the higher standards of Uncyclopedia, and don't get me wrong, this is a start. I assign homework at the end of just about every review, and here is your homework. Read HTBFANJS Improve the images, make them funnier and of higher quality Check over your grammar. Take a look at featured articles to see what they did well. With that behind you, I wish the best of luck in getting this up to featured status.
Reviewer:	Warm Regards, Javascap 12:27, 17 March 2008 (UTC)