Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Geico Caveman
Geico Caveman[edit source]
I made this article myself but it feels unfinished. I don't know what to add and if it's good or not.
Squishy-Beaver 02:40, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
 | REJOICE! Javascap has reviewed this article! |
| Humour: | 6 | Not bad, but not good. I did get a few chuckles out of the article here and there, but it was nothing outstanding. I want you to read HTBFANJS and see what you can do to improve this article. You need a bit of satire, not just false facts. |
| Concept: | 8 | As if biographies are not hard enough, you went on to make a biography about a fictional person, which I imagine is much harder. You did have a decent amount of satire, which I appreciated, but you were stymied somewhat by the end. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | Your article started out nicely in the beginning, well written, with a flowing structure, but as it wore on (Noticeable by the second half of “acting career”.) You did have a small misspelling (Chubacca = Chewbacca) and a few small inconsistencies (White men arrived in 1492, not 1592 and you didn’t mention anything about the Geico caveman leaving the CCR, as well as moving WEST to escape the Europeans, I think you meant east)
I would say that the best way to fix this would be to read each word One. By. One. Slowly. to see if the words flow. Just a small technique you might want to apply if you are up to a challenge. Try utilizing Big and Small as well as ‘’’This kind of text’’’ in your article to see if you can emphasize the (slightly missing) humour. The major kill for this score came a bit closer to the end of the article, when you fell into lists, which are, from all my experiences, NEVER funny. Either intergrate the list into the text, expand the text to the article (which would mean more images) or snip the list down a bit to keep it interesting. |
| Images: | 7 | This article in the text area had about as many images as I would have expected to have seen, and they were relevant to what was being said. There were a few catches to it. For starters, none of the captions thrown in were meant with humour, even though they presented false information with a straight face. I would like to see a bit of humour under one of the pictures, and I think that is about all you need in this category. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | Avg’d as per Pee Review guidelines. |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | Right now, this article is what would be considered “average”, which would allow it to stick around for a long time. The main area you need work in is DEFINITALLY prose, and a bit of work in humour. Don’t get yourself worked up over the images. Here is the work I would like to see done.
There is potential to become featured here, so just give it a whirl and see what comes out. |
| Reviewer: | Warm Regards, Javascap | |