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From today's featured article 

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Johnson! My fine fellow, I haven't seen you since the Boer War! Bah, we must have made a glorious slaughter of those Dutchies in the Jungle eh? Ha Ha Ha, please, sir, sit down!

Why the long face? What's this you say, you're having trouble with Women-folk? Oh dear Johnson, oh dear oh dear. Still, Stiff upper lip, or should I say Stiff lower member? Ha Ha Ha, that is the problem I assume Old boy?

What! Speak man!, you're not some mumbling Frisian I do hope! Do you walk around in wooden shoes? Do you spend your evenings getting baked, then calling directory enquiries, asking for the number to directory enquiries? HA. No, I didn't think so. You're BRITISH man! My God, speak up for the love of all that is gloriously pompous!

Well...

I hope you haven't been seeing those China-women Johnson. Oh Johnson you old rascal! You picked up an oriental venereal disease, didn't you? Oh there's no shame in it ole sport. Quite the rage. Come on man, whip it out, I'll see what I can do, come on don't be a shy old Aunt ... (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?

In the news 

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On this day 

This stoat is about to be molested. Donate now at donate.rainn.org to stop this madness.

May 23: Stop the Stoat Molesting Night

  • 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time. The Force puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on her door.
  • 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
  • 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
  • 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
  • 1831 - Tupperware factory accident kills dozens of women and children.
  • 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
  • 2006 - Hal 9000 starts an advice column for worried humanoids, fails miserably.
  • 2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.

Picture of the day

""Saving"" Private Elmo
 This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.

Image credit: Sonje
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