Uncyclopedia:Departure of Fun/Fear-Mongering Catch Phrase Generator
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To everybody who just tuned in,
I think it's just about time you and me had a little chat.
A curse of one thousand million terrors has been cast upon our great nation by an odd witch.
Free will is just an illusion. Let that sink in. Did you choose to think about it? No you didn't.
You must not believe what the press is saying, or your own better judgement.
Please join me in a minute of silence... ... ... ...
And really, can we afford to act otherwise?
Thank you.