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From today's featured article 

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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that in Rhode Island any marriage where either of the party is an idiot and/or lunatic is considered null & void? And therefore, almost everyone in the state is, technically, a bastard? (Pictured)
  • ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
  • ... that the butler did it?

In the news 

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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley CupAaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick DerringerCarolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom QueenJohn RedcornBrian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for himSly Stallone Stone Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEIDiddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenNew York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. KellyLos Angeles, again

On this day 

LONG LONG MAN

June 14: Really Long Events Day

  • 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
  • 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
  • 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
  • 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
  • 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
  • 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?

Picture of the day

Hello Kitty
Hello Kitty getting her groove on.

Image credit: IMBJR
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,187 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.