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From today's featured article
Analog horror (Horrori internetus analogus) is an invasive species that have infested the realms of the interwebs, especially in the deserted landscape known as YouTube. Some traits that these species share include horrible visual effects, some dumb storyline of someone recording a video then dying for no reason, stretched out faces, and absurd amounts of static. It is an incredibly dangerous species and it is highly advised to not walk near it, as immediate contact with it can lead to severe health issues such as boredom and, in the worst of cases, cringe. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?
- ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
- ... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
In the news
- Uncylopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures
- Trump fires Zakk Wylde
- Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione"
- Epstein list predictions
- Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured)
- Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia
- Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!"
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison"
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
- Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
- Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
- Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)
Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates
On this day
- Long time ago - Emperor takes over the galaxy in Star Wars (TM)
- 1844 - Toast is invented
- 1855 - Following the war of a thousand toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 5000 years.
- 1856 - Toast is rediscovered.
- 1857 - Toast is forgotten.
- 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany, is completed. It smells great!
- 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era.
- 1987 - A young explorer named Wally is reported missing.
- 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddys friends to be president of the United States.
- 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word.
- 2006 - Horizontal Line is discovered in your pants.
- 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants.
- 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough.
- 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator.
- 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented
- 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected.
- 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.
- 3012- 1000th "Screw Dick Cheney" Day cancelled by Undead Bush
Picture of the day
Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world. Image credit: RadicalX |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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