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From today's featured article

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Putnam & Howell are an architecture and urban design firm which specializes in Hostile architecture, an innovative design trend defined by its "open and wanton hostility" towards the homeless. We are world leaders in the use of defensive design to deter unwanted people from loitering in buildings, parks and other public places, and our designs are found in hundreds of urban centers around the globe. We value public safety and a human environment which engenders mutual trust and peace of mind. We have been serving clients who share these values for over 55 years.

Please browse our portfolio of designs to see which of our projects best suit your public deterrence needs. We value your continued patronage. Please contact our toll-free number for flexible pricing options. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
  • ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
  • ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
  • ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?

In the news

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He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Filesr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad ArnoldNFL season • Winter OlympicsSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanEric DaneMelania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy and snow handling capability • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' MaduroIran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to rememberMexico

On this day

It's no Monster House but it's okay.

February 24: "I don't care what day it is" Day

Picture of the day

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Chairman Meow

Image credit: Socky
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,025 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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Cream of the Crap
This article was one of the Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2025
Top 10 articles of 2025