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From today's featured article

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The Polar bear (Ursus vegetarius) is native to the Arctic, and is the largest and friendliest land mammal in Canada. Like its close cuddly relative the cuddly Panda, it is classified in the order carnivora even though it is strictly herbivorous. Due to its popularity in the Coca-Cola commercials it is projected to surpass the panda in cuteness and cuddliness by the year 2012. If you see a Polar Bear, you should totally approach it and give it a friendly hug, because their fur is so snuggly and soft. They have a wholly undeserved reputation as ferocious predators, when in fact they couldn't be more cuddly, and can be easily beaten in a fight - for more information, see HowTo:Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight. Polar Bears are your friends. Whatever those pesky penguins tell you. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
  • ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

In the news

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Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: IranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora

On this day

For every moose you save, another moose is slaughtered and its meat given to a starving Norwegian family

March 25: International Moose Preservation Day

Picture of the day

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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand.

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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,975 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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Cream of the Crap
This article was one of the Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2025
Top 10 articles of 2025