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From today's featured article

Phyllis Nan Sortain Pechey (26 February 1909 – 27 December 1994), better known as Fanny Cradock, was an English cook, bar maid, circus ring mistress and television personality. She is known around the world for her defence of traditional British food, transforming it from "hot food" to "haute cuisine".

Cradock’s place in the British Culinary Hall of Fame remained unquestioned until she was knocked off her pedestal by a tin of curry. It was the end of an era, though Fanny was the last to recognise that the world had changed and that slipping paper garters on chicken legs was now very old Toad in the hole. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that the The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to some of Pau Pei's most groundbreaking works of concentric art? (Pictured)

... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
...No, you didn't! Stop lying!
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
…that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?

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In the news

Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out..

New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured)
Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
Dingo eats a woman's baby
Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
The US government continues to shit itself
Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake
BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys

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On this day

November 5: Remember, remember, the fifth of November: Explode The Government Day (Britain)

1605 - The Parliament building fails to explode.
1854 - Anonymous inventor skinned while testing early hydraulic barber chair.
1900 - Despite widespread panic and rumors in proposition, Big Ben doesn't explode, but the Prime Minister does.
1984 - Despite the Brotherhood's efforts, Big Brother is not wounded in a suicide bombing. Let's thank him for increasing our chocolate to 20 grams!
1987 - Margaret Thatcher's imminent Silent But Deadly reaches critical mass and explodes in her intestine.
2022 - Some guy wearing a mask in London blows some shit up, rioting doesn't ensue (it's England NOT France).

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Picture of the day

Falstrop's Amazing Kitten Huffing Device

Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image credit: Sannse
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