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From today's featured article
Sewing is the art of fusing separate objects, usually sections of fabric, burnt-through upholstery, or metal, together through use of intertwining stitches. It is generally employed as a manner of constructing clothing, more commonly known as that stuff that guy down the street keeps getting arrested for not wearing, but serves various other uses as well, such as holding together old cars and keeping crazy women locked in the attic occupied from doing anything else.
Until recently, all sewing was done by hand, but that all changed with the invention of the sewing machine along with the industrialisation of the rest of the modern world. Because of this, the durability and production capability of sewing spread as quickly as the subsequent laziness, enabling engineers to utilise sewing for many new applications, most of which remain completely ignored by the greater public. Despite the versatility of this innovation, sewing has dwindled in popularity in modern times, oft discarded in favour of faster techniques such as buckling, velcroing, zipping, taping, or even gluing component pieces together. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
In the news
- Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK (Pictured)
- Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago
- Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Non-playoff NFL teams firing their coaches
Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys • Green Bay Packers', Carolina Panthers', Jacksonville Jaguars', Los Angeles Chargers' and Philadelphia Eagles' seasons • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs"
On this day
January 12: Politically Incorrect Bedtime Stories Day
- 1528 - King Gustav I of Sweden, after a Danish armchair of his breaks after only two hours of use, declares that all furniture sold outside of Sweden must be sold unassembled.
- 1907 - A baby Sergei Korolev, Soviet rocket scientist, is found hidden inside a stalk of corn by a poor farmer.
- 1966 - Lyndon B. Johnson declares America must stay in Vietnam till that whole Communism fad blows off.
- 1981 - The NAACP removes the "I have black friends who are okay with it" loophole for people without N-Word privileges, twenty-something white dudes riot.
- 2010 - An earthquake in Haiti kills over 100,000 people, wait, you already forgot about it? That's cold. I don't even think you donated.
- 2015 - Eighty-nine year old comedian Boz "Yellowface" Trillman cancels his long belated comeback after uproar at a joke about the differently abled.
Picture of the day
| Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. Image credit: Mhaille |
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