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From today's featured article

Tumbleweed01.gif
Pictured - people who care

Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and the wiki administration. It would be considered the largest epidemic facing the world today if it weren't for the fact that nobody gives a flying cow about epidemics. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody really wanted to do anything about it, or something. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy.

Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live. Romans were unmoved and made them fight lions to death. After the fall of Rome, we needed some kind of civilization to stop the barbarians or whatever, but no one could seem to get around to it. This is generally agreed upon (I think) as the beginning of the Dark Ages. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that 45% of Japan's electrical and nuclear power is produced by manual labor? (Pictured)
  • ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
  • ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
  • ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?

In the news

President Nicolas Maduro on board the USS Iwo Jima (cropped).png
Great start to the year!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLPatrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte BardotCarl Yastrzmski2025 • The MetroCardStranger ThingsKaliVecnaThe Upside DownBuffalo Sabres' unexpected 10-game win streak

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once againWeed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro

On this day

thicc

January 6: Recover from Holiday Hangover Day


Picture of the day

Wikimoon?
Gosh, Wikipedia is starting to get a little too big...

Image credit: DaMenace
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,144 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.