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From today's featured article
The Hillyard & Brickman Corporation is a dynamic young company founded in 2002 with one central goal for the 20th century: Excellence through Synergy, and Capital through Innovation™. Leading the field in cutting edge market endeavors that enhance consumerism and inversely decrease domestic quality of life, mankind is already benefiting greatly from the ingenuity and completely ethical practices of the company that employees affectionately refer to as "The Company." Several prominent, prestigious and highly televised media outlets have even suggested that Hillyard & Brickman is in fact one of the world's most global leaders, internationally championing production of net happiness for all consumers great and small, and greatly streamlining the subsequent distribution of said product to all ports of call. In simple terms, Hillyard & Brickman is a company that works for you.
In 1989, CEO James McBowlstrum had a vision; a vision of ethical business practices, bolstered by a commitment to quality and an emphasis on bold, groundbreaking networks of communication. Founded in the quaint downtown area of scenic Maple Streams, Mr. McBowlstrum built the Hillyard & Brickman Corporation from the ground up, often with his bare hands. In 13 years' time, James McBowlstrum constructed the most solid structural basis for a company of compassion that the world has ever known. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
- ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
In the news
- World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
- Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight
Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season
Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too
On this day
March 30: International Cleavage Day
- 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers.
- 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps.
- 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land.
- 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her.
- 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene.
- 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition.
- 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules.
Picture of the day
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The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault |
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