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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

*gets classical music mp3*

*ahem*... 3... 2... 1...

After gaslighting their followers that the non-existent country of France was a real place, and after stating that Jeffrey Epstein was "my best friend", this horrid Uncyclopedian user has earned their place as one of the most hated Uncyclopedians on the site. It eventually went way deeper than these surface-level facts, however, as it has been revealed that Gergdown has had a secret history of lying, pedophilia, and even more. These events have escalated so much, that recently, Brown9622 has deleted their Discord account, and alongside it, have left the Uncyclopedian Discord server. So how did this story occur? (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... tennis isn't just a game?
... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?

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In the news [edit]

One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
The US government continues to shit itself
Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom

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On this day [edit]

October 17: International Take a Sojourn Day

1882 - Canada creates Take a Sojourn to Canada Day to improve Canada, instances of rape by Yaks increase 140%
1907 - Robert Perry becomes the first man to take a sojourn to the North Pole, is raped by a reindeer.
1935 - A wizard did it during a sojourn in Canada, it is said to be fucking magical or something!!
1959 - The Soviet Union institutes Take a Sojurn to the Soviet Union day, instances of Yak rape increase 150%
1995 - Stephen Hawking runs over a cat during a sojourn in Oxford
2006 - A young boy is nearly raped by a gay English teacher while taking a sojourn in Canada

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Picture of the day

Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs.

Image credit: SystemPhantom
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,786 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.