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From today's featured article
Donald Fauntleroy Duck, also known in the underground adult film scene as Dinald Dick, is one of history's most polarising figures: a beloved, world-renowned slapstick comedian and actor, a World War II veteran, a war criminal and a turncoat, whose life has been defined by rage, betrayal, a perplexing lack of undergarments and an erratic temperament that resulted in a notorious Nuremberg trial acquittal, largely since none of the judges could decipher one word of his prima donna-esque testimony.
Declassified intelligence files indicate that Duck's true wartime activities remain shrouded in secrecy, stirring up speculation that his impact on twentieth century history had more to it than his corporate handlers at Disney would have ever admitted. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that the White House is really off-white?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
In the news
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." (Pictured)
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
- Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes
- Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs
- Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter
- The UK to ban the resale of tickets
- Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not?
- Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
- Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
- Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
- Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner
Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff
Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard
On this day
December 4: e-nternashonal Badt Ingrish Daiye
- 1776 - Da You-S de-feat Ingrand een Teh Wor off Eendie pen dance
- 1918 - Wootroow Weelsoon, taht vas zum presidant zum der Ooonitid Steeeets, goeing tu Verseis en sa-id sheep too speek off piss toks vith teh kontrees, hoo fuight en WWW1.
- 1993 - FR4NK 24PP4 dooes.
- 2006 - Und Jeebus sayd undo da poepple, "Whoom doo yoo tink eye am?", und da poepple repped, "You are the exhiological replication of our being, the vast immiturication of a higher homosapianism, the essence of zoology.", und Jeebuz sez, "Eh?"
Picture of the day
 |
When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century. Image credit: Sunsneezer |
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