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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s. Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change. Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...) Recently featured: Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day March 31: Condom Appreciation Day 4000 BC - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms (Pictured), resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries. 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received. 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression. 1961 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In. 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City. 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day Centered text goes here. edit News Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured) ... that you actually didn't know? ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more? ... no, you didn't! Stop lying! ... that Uncyclopedia admins are such lazy bums, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions? Do you worry... ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured) ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill? ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? Read Many
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