Babel:Gv

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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh!


Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 41,106 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships...


Windows XP is renowned for its stability and reliability.
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Rob Gronkowski, also known as "Gronky Kong", is tall guy who once play American football, now is tall funny guy make appearance on TV. Gronk have play as tight end, no make into wide receiver. Gronk have perverted sense of humor, you see. Hahaha, 69!

Gronk have play for team with Tom Brady, namely New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, play so hard against hometown team Buffalo Bills due to Bills dinosaur owner no pick Gronk. Gronk mad.

Gronk is crazy party animal, like party so much he use beer keg for wash bodyyyyyy. Gronk say no eat TIE PODS, but sometimes he no resist, due to TIE PODS is colorful like candyyyyy. TIDE POD yucky though, Gronk just eat to look cool.

Despite Gronk now hated in hometown of Buffalo, New York due to angry GRONK SMASH on Tre White, he still more likeable by light years than dummy ex-teammate Aaron Hernandez, who was angry gangster go kill people. Gronk one of few people who no get CTE from play football, but BORN with CTE, along with Cam Skattebo. Therefore being born with CTE, Gronk always nuts, but awesome. (Full article...)

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

The smell of stale cigarettes on my stubble, the imprints of past lovers wrinkling my floorbed. I take a swig of something brown, and I forget...

January 30: The Next Great American Novel Day

  • 1892 - Richard Lawrence, failed Andrew Jackson assassin, writes novel marketed as tell-all; it instead details his unrequited decades long crush on a Czech farmgirl in Nebraska.
  • 1925 - Erudite socialite and on-and-off poet M. Masters Droob writes, These Days Will Last Forever, a loosely biographical coming of age tome about an erudite socialite and on-and-off poet.
  • 1965 - Virginian author Jeronio P. McDullum writes his magnum opus, That Remains to be Seen: A Novel of Domestic Discontent, about a loveless marriage between an assistant professor and pugnacious spouse, who wouldn't know a novel from a novella.
  • 1971 - Grizzled, white man's man author Smoker Ennis publishes a road trip anthology, I Fucked The Road; in the cover, he poses with the semi-automatic machine gun he will later use to take his own life.
  • 1973 - Brundon Grishmald writes a 1,249 page novel about every single one of his sexual fetishes in excruciating detail, most people give up by page eighty-four.
  • 2015 - Mariska Told writes a semi-autobiographical Roman à clef about the character defining experiences which paint the life of every American woman, like working at your dad's publishing firm or drunk texting your ex who moved to Long Island three years ago.
  • 2017 - Bright young writer and future MacArthur fellow João Staines writes great work of literary import, you can tell from the tasteful misogyny and the nonsense similies.


Archived doings

What be worrying the Land Lubbers


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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day

Recent deaths: Brigitte BardotCarl Yastrzmski2025 • The MetroCardStranger ThingsKaliVecnaThe Upside Downthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenureDenver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window


Pirate Times


Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...

From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:

  • ... that torture is better to give than to receive?


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Recent press ganged crew


More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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