Babel:El

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Καλωσήρθατε στην Ανεγκυκλοπαίδεια, την ελεύθερη εγκυκλοπαίδεια που οποιοσδήποτε μπορεί να επεξεργαστεί.


Προτού αρχίσετε την επεξεργασία, παρακαλώ διαβάστε τον Οδηγό για Αρχάριους και ρίξτε μια ματιά στο ψυχολογικό μας τεστ.
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Δημοφιλή | Αλφαβητικό Ευρετήριο | Άλλες Κατηγορίες...


The valuable authentic NASA satellite image of the Great European Continent.
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Tesco, officially the Federal Union of Autonomous Shopping Republics, is a large country that has grown in size since its origin in 1917. It is the largest thing in the world by some considerable distance. It was founded largely on Marxist shopping principles, somewhat of a contradiction you might say, but they sure as hell have found a way! While inside, please refrain from buying Nando’s new Mouth-Roasting-Japan-Hiroshima-Bomb-Devil’s-Blood-Extra-Spicy sauce.

Tesco recruits its staff by loitering outside school gates, waiting for school dropouts. It has a strict policy of not employing anybody with 5 GCSEs or more. If you send them 10 or more CVs they send you a polite letter to tell you to stop sending fucking CVs.

So if you're looking for an exciting, well paid and mentally stimulating career that allows you to express your creativity, get lots of fresh air, make lifelong mates and meet lots of interesting people, then working for Tesco is not for you. (Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

Yee-yee ass haircut.

December 9: Belisarius' Hairdo Day (Turkey)

  • 526 - Justinian's favorite general, Belisarius, gets a terrible haircut from a Gothic barber.
  • 1958 - The John Birch Society is founded to fight the perceived threat of certain types of trees.
  • 1967 - Canada invades Greenland, prompting what most historians regard as the most boring war in the history of mankind.
  • 1976 - The CIA fabricates much of the Western United States from Balsa wood and duct tape.


Archived Anniversaries

In the news


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Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard


More Current Events at UnNews News


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

  • ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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