Babel:Ch

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
 
   

Welcome to the Swiss Uncyclopedia, the neutral encyclopedia that anyone can edit but only if they have sufficient funds.

   
 

Sophia has opened 41,113 numbered bank accounts since opening in January 2005.
Before editing, please read the War Profit Investment guidelines and neutrality manual.

 
   

Sex | War | Bank Vault Technology | Reservists | Female Emancipation | 4 Offical Languages
Most Wealthy | Numerical Index | Not Money, Choclate or Cucckoo Clocks...

   
 
Respect my Neutralitah!
I'm Rich Bitch!
Harrypotterbook.jpg

You've read the title. I know what you want, dear reader. I bet you were TikToking down the rabbithole when your mother blew a hole through your door with a C4, and asked you to read seven long-ass books that nobody has the time for in this decade! (That TikToking doesn't do itself right?) And then you said something, like "First of all, what the hell mom, blowing a hole through my door. Also mom, seriously, I don't have time for this... gawd... get off my back. I have two hours of TikToking to do and then a Mario Kart Wii session... on my Wii!" Your mother smacks you over the head with forty-three door-stopping Harry Potter books, and a constant supply of shitty, smelly novels! And when you tried to complain, your mother unbelievably said, "What the hell did you just say to me, Billy? I'll have you know that I'm shart, and you're sooo fucking dump." You stare at your mother in disbelief. No modern parent tells their kids what to do, let alone telling them to read outside when it's -30°F! You'd freeze your dick off! Well get ready Billy, because if even the thought of reading Harry Potter in less than a minute has already blown your brain to Mars, then reading this page would've surely blown your brain to Jupiter. (Full article...)

You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia


Selected anniversaries

I haven't left my house in two months

January 21: Drink Until It Stops Hurting Day


Archived Anniversaries

Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.


StarmerBikini.png
Downing Street denies this image.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia and Josh Allen drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016

Recent deaths: Brigitte BardotCarl Yastrzmski2025 • The MetroCardStranger ThingsKaliVecnaThe Upside Downthe other Black guy from John Carpenter's The ThingBob WeirScott AdamsKianna UnderwoodBuffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankleSean McDermott's Bills tenure

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Denver Broncos' Super Bowl hopes without Bo Nix • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window with "Mr. Bean" failing upwards


More Things to Avoid Getting Involved With


Obviously you didn't know...

From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:

  • ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?


If you care about the rest of the world...

Recent opened accounts


More News which does not Concern Us


Most wanted bankers | Fix Accounting Mistakes | Make a Deposit | Lost Nazi Gold| Educate the World...

Complete list of Uncyclopedias · Multilingual coordination · Start an Uncyclopedia in another language


Banker of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



For neutrality related chat, see the uncyclopedia chat room.

Protected by a Half Million Man Army, and their knives.