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- Bienvenidos a la versión suiza de la desciclopedia, la enciclopedia neutral que cualquiera puede editar, siempre que disponga de suficientes fondos. Sophia ha abierto 41,150 cuentas de banco desde el mes de enero de 2005. Antes de editar nada, leas guías de beneficios de la Declaración de Guerra y manual de la neutralidad.
- Bienvenue à l'Uncyclopédia suisse, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 41,150 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!
- Willkommen in der Schweizer Uncyclopedia, die neutrale Enzyklopädie, die, gänzlich frei von Käse, dafür sorgt, dass jeder veröffentlichen kann, der ausreichende Finanzen besitzt. Sophia hat seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 ganze 41,150 Nummernkonten eröffnet. Vor der Ausgabe lesen Sie auf jeden Fall die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
- Benvenuto al Uncyclopedia svizzero, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 41,150 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.
 The Third Epistle to the Thessalonians, also known as the The Third Letter to the Thessalonians, is a purported letter from St. Paul to the community at Thessalonika. Unlike the first two epistles to the church, in which Paul expressed love and support to the Christians in the city while attempting to answer their questions, the apostle completely loses it in the third letter, and liberally sprinkles his escathology with insults like "doofus" and "morons". Debates over the authenticity of 3 Thessalonians have raged since at least the second century. Origen apparently knew of it, but was too busy writing Contra Celsum (Against Celsus) and Contra Testicles (It is not a tragedy to lose one's balls) to prepare a commentary. Eusebius mentions the letter in his Historia Ecclesia, but the work was thought lost until it was found in a leather-bound manuscript in Cairo in 1993. Modern scholars tend to reject the epistle's authenticity outright. A small but influential group of dissidents argue that the frustration in the letter, as well as the "Copyright: Tentmaker Productions, Just Before Jesus' Return in Glory" notice at the end of the letter, suggest Pauline authorship. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Selected anniversaries January 4: International Schadenfreude Day
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Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.
 Great start to the year!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker • Nanny state officials breaching people's right to privacy via enforcing social media bans and digital ID on their respective countries under the pretext of "think of the children!" Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix •
Obviously you didn't know...From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:
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Banker of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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