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- Bienvenidos a la versión suiza de la desciclopedia, la enciclopedia neutral que cualquiera puede editar, siempre que disponga de suficientes fondos. Sophia ha abierto 41,019 cuentas de banco desde el mes de enero de 2005. Antes de editar nada, leas guías de beneficios de la Declaración de Guerra y manual de la neutralidad.
- Bienvenue à l'Uncyclopédia suisse, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 41,019 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!
- Willkommen in der Schweizer Uncyclopedia, die neutrale Enzyklopädie, die, gänzlich frei von Käse, dafür sorgt, dass jeder veröffentlichen kann, der ausreichende Finanzen besitzt. Sophia hat seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 ganze 41,019 Nummernkonten eröffnet. Vor der Ausgabe lesen Sie auf jeden Fall die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!
- Benvenuto al Uncyclopedia svizzero, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 41,019 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.
 Gouverneur Morris was a Founding Father of the United States and the author of the Preamble to the United States Constitution. He was rich, influential, and wore only the finest powdered wigs. Then he shoved a whale bone up his dickhole and died. Morris was born in 1752 in Morrisania. The Morrises were the kind of wealthy landowning family that thought "Morrisania" was a perfectly normal thing to name your house and "Gouverneur" was a perfectly normal thing to name your baby. Morris's birth was a notoriously difficult one. After thirty-six hours of labor, his mother, exhausted and delirious, famously cried out, "Does my baby draw breath? Does he yet live?" "Yeah," said the midwife. "He'll be just fine as long as he doesn't shove a whale bone up his dickhole. That will be forty cents." Ironically they had to use forceps to remove them, ones made out of whalebone. That may have started a thing with Morris. (Full article...) You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Selected anniversaries November 21: International Couch Potato Day
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Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.
 YANKEES SUCK!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • Mark Butt-fumble's TV career • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed
Obviously you didn't know...From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States:
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Banker of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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