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Welcome to the Swiss Uncyclopedia, the neutral encyclopedia that anyone can edit but only if they have sufficient funds.       Sophia has opened 40,263 numbered bank accounts since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the War Profit Investment guidelines and neutrality manual.       Sex | War | Bank Vault Technology | Reservists | Female Emancipation | 4 Offical Languages Most Wealthy | Numerical Index | Not Money, Choclate or Cucckoo Clocks...

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• Bienvenidos a la versión suiza de la desciclopedia, la enciclopedia neutral que cualquiera puede editar, siempre que disponga de suficientes fondos. Sophia ha abierto 40,263 cuentas de banco desde el mes de enero de 2005. Antes de editar nada, leas guías de beneficios de la Declaración de Guerra y manual de la neutralidad.

• Bienvenue à l'Uncyclopédia suisse, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 40,263 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!

• Willkommen in der Schweizer Uncyclopedia, die neutrale Enzyklopädie, die, gänzlich frei von Käse, dafür sorgt, dass jeder veröffentlichen kann, der ausreichende Finanzen besitzt. Sophia hat seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 ganze 40,263 Nummernkonten eröffnet. Vor der Ausgabe lesen Sie auf jeden Fall die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!

• Benvenuto al Uncyclopedia svizzero, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 40,263 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.

The Metalheads are an ethno-religious tribe and primitive forerunner of the human race that display heightened levels of aggression, exceptional constitution, narrowmindedness, and a strong affection for loud, violent, evil-sounding, vaguely otherworldly (Brutal) music. They are widely accepted, by most academics, to be the basis for Gods and supernatural deities in all popular religions. While the average Metalhead sees himself as a rock god, the average person sees a woman in bad need of a new wardrobe. However, this dreaded aperture when presented on stage begins to shine like gold in the form of sounds manipulated via surprising mental and physical manual dexterity. (Full article...) Recently featured: Metalheads 9-11 Shoutbox Clairvoyance among dinosaurs Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries July 2: Canada Day (Canada) (if July 1 falls on a Sunday (which it didn't)); Confusing Parentheses Day 1492 – After becoming extremely confused by oceanic parentheses, Christopher Columbus arrives in The New World, believing it to be China. 1566 – French astrologer Nostradamus dies. Didn't see that one coming, did ya Nostradamus? 1698 – Thomsas Savery patents the first steam engine, designed to mechanically move a horse's legs so as to reduce the amount of effort required to pull a horse-drawn buggy. 1882 – Oscar Wilde reaches the height of his celebrity, arriving to the premiere of his play The Importance of Being Earnest in a luxury stretch horsebuggy. 1947 – A weather balloon crashes in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. The Army covers up the loss of the weather balloon by claiming it was an alien spaceship. 1962 – The first Wal-Mart opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas. The primitive version of the store offers only guns, confederate flags, and bullets. 1996 – Aliens attack the world, destroying New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., everywhere else. Bill Pullman, Will Smith survive. Archived Anniversaries	edit Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit. "Time for a new political party that actually cares about the people!" Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" (Pictured) United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Hit videogame Deltarune about to be released tomorrow!!! New York Knicks throw tantrum, fire head coach for barely missing NBA Finals they would have lost anyways Elevation Worship's Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown until further notice Taylor Swift buys back her masters Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Aaron Rodgers finally signing with a team • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran peace talks Recent deaths: Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom Queen • John Redcorn • Brian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for him • Sly Stallone Stone • Brian Wilson • Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable Upcoming deaths: DEI • Diddy's chance at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices More Things to Avoid Getting Involved With edit Obviously you didn't know... From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States: ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? If you care about the rest of the world...
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Banker of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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