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The Autoconspiracy 2000 (more commonly known as the Conspiracy Theory Generator) is a top-secret computer program built by the world's most elite historians and computer scientists for the purpose of expanding historical knowledge beyond that which would normally not be achievable by humans. The goal of the program is to map out and eventually solve every historical uncertainty by "Exploring the Infinite Chronoscape" as the program's metadata puts it.

Early versions of the Autoconspiracy can be traced back to prehistoric times, where archaeological records show evidence of some particularly clever cavemen who had studied the natural patterns of moss and of mud to explain the origins of organic material. More refined methods of discovering hidden truths came later, culminating with the final Autoconspiracy version, Autoconspiracy 2000 c. 2000. (Full article...)

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DID Y0U KN0W...

... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)

... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured)

... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?

... that in China, there is no MySpace, but a communist alternative? (Pictured)

... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that Godot isn't coming?
... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?

... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)

... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
... that the White House is really off-white?
... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?

... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)

... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!

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He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|**
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February 25: Gangrene Appreciation Day 1863 - Civil War surgeons discover a cure for gangrene, a rusty hacksaw and a stick to bite on. 1901 - J. P. Morgan becomes a billionaire after inventing the now world-renowned overdraft protection fee. 1945 - Turkey declares war on Germany. A little late to the party but every little thing helps. 1964 - Kim Il-sung turns North Korea into a verdant paradise, a utopia masquerading as a third-world country. It's basically an Asian Wakanda. 1991 - The Warsaw pact is officially abolished, thus ushering in a new era of peace and stability in Europe for a whole two hours. 1992 - The Khojaly Massacre occurs, part of an ongoing conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan over the enclave of Nagorno-Karabakh aaaaaand you're asleep. Okay. \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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