Babel:1337

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
W31(0m3 70 Un(y(10p3di@,
7|-|3 c0n73n7-fr33 3n(y(10p3di@ 7|-|47 4ny0n3 (@n 3di7.
40,971 @r7ic135 in 3ng1i5|-|

B3GINN3R'5 GUID3 · 7|-|3 BIG FI\/3 · 57Y13 · QU357I0N5 · |-|31P · D0N47I0N5

C473G0RI35 · F347UR3D C0N73N7 · 4-Z IND3X

Cnorrishead.jpg

Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris.

Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.

Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)

DID Y0U KN0W...

Cafeteria.jpg
Broek.jpg
  • ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
  • ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
  • ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
  • ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
  • ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
Pennylamp2.jpg
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
  • ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
  • ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
  • ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
Marsbarfried.jpg
  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
  • ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
Weird schizophrenic.jpg
Knightsu.jpg
WashingtonBlackskins.JPG
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
  • ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
  • ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
  • ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
  • ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?

IN 7H3 N3W5

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the hospital survived Chuck Norris • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

Water? You mean like from the toilet?

March 22: World Water Day

70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3

Insert image title here, without link
The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

R3C3N7 4R7IC135

M0R3 R3C3N7 4R7IC135 | M057 W4N73D P4G35 | R3QU3573D R3WRI735 | 4DD 70 57UB5 | 10N31Y P4G35 | P33 R3\/I3W | 7RY WRI7ING 4B0U7... | 57UCK 4R7IC135 N33DING 4 PU5|-| | GR347 ID345

WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,971 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including French!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,971
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

PR073C73D BY 7|-|3 F4IR U53 C14U53, 4ND 4 1337 C14N 0F C1INJ45.