Babel:1337

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
W31(0m3 70 Un(y(10p3di@,
7|-|3 c0n73n7-fr33 3n(y(10p3di@ 7|-|47 4ny0n3 (@n 3di7.
40,968 @r7ic135 in 3ng1i5|-|

B3GINN3R'5 GUID3 · 7|-|3 BIG FI\/3 · 57Y13 · QU357I0N5 · |-|31P · D0N47I0N5

C473G0RI35 · F347UR3D C0N73N7 · 4-Z IND3X

Euclid.jpg

Mathematics (from Greek άθημα máthēma, “knowledge, study, learning”) is the systematic torture of students disguised as the study of quantity, structure, space, and change. Mathematicians seek out patterns and formulate new conjectures, trying to make sense of the universe by examining these abstract concepts, determining common traits, and then experimenting to see if this advanced knowledge will help them get women into bed. These conjectures are often faulty, and this subsequent failure is referred to as mathematical proof.

Galileo Galilei (1564–1642) said, "The universe cannot be read until we have learned the language and become familiar with the characters in which it is written. It is written in mathematical language... Without these, one is wandering about in a dark labyrinth". He was also condemned by the church for heresy, and the only surviving body part of his is his middle finger on his right hand. This is currently kept at the Museo Galileo in Florence, Italy, allowing him to give the finger to the Catholic Church from beyond the grave. (Full article...)

DID Y0U KN0W...

Malcolmx.jpg
Stalinman.png
Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
  • ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
  • ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
Winnerloser.jpg
  • ... that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (Pictured)
  • ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
Commie eats children.gif
  • ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
  • ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
  • ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
Gypsies1.jpg
Sumoworkout.JPG

IN 7H3 N3W5

Norris4.jpg
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland

Upcoming deaths: IranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

*Sheev scream*

March 29: National Treason Day

70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3

Insert image title here, without link
The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

R3C3N7 4R7IC135

M0R3 R3C3N7 4R7IC135 | M057 W4N73D P4G35 | R3QU3573D R3WRI735 | 4DD 70 57UB5 | 10N31Y P4G35 | P33 R3\/I3W | 7RY WRI7ING 4B0U7... | 57UCK 4R7IC135 N33DING 4 PU5|-| | GR347 ID345

WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,968 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including AAAAAAAAA!!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,968
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

PR073C73D BY 7|-|3 F4IR U53 C14U53, 4ND 4 1337 C14N 0F C1INJ45.