From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
|
Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
|
DID Y0U KN0W...
|
- ... that the WWF is the only "sports entertainment" organization endorsed by PETA and Greenpeace? (Pictured)
- ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured)
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)

- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?

- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
- ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
- ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
- ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
|
|
IN 7H3 N3W5
|
|
|
0N 7HI5 D4Y...
|
|
|
|
WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
|
|
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,972 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Japanese!:
|
PR073C73D BY 7|-|3 F4IR U53 C14U53, 4ND 4 1337 C14N 0F C1INJ45.