Babel:1337

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White History Month, (also known as Caucasian History Month), is an annual observance for remembrance of important people and events in the history of the Caucasian diaspora. It is celebrated annually in the United States every September. Before the United States was established, Caucasians were a minority race outnumbered by Africans, Asians and even Indians; they were often negated to ghettos and inner slums in their native hometowns of Europe and the United Kingdom. The treatment of them were staggering, many of them were forced to panhandle for money because they could not find work from their black employers, many of them were also beaten up in a show of superiority from the police force of which few Caucasians were admitted. It was not until the beginning of the American revolution that the caucasians would see a massive rise in population, thus bringing them closer to their peers.

With the establishment of the United States, the Caucasians made a place for their own; however, there was a huge problem in that African masters would often venture into the United States looking for Caucasian slaves. While enslaved, they were forced to do menial labor such as harvest crops and clean up the bathrooms of said Africans and whenever said Caucasian would get out of control, they'd be whipped or much worse, killed in front of their peers. (Full article...)

DID Y0U KN0W...

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  • ... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?
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  • ... that the police are at your door?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that there is one imposter among us?
  • ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
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  • ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
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  • ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
  • ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
  • ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
  • ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
  • ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
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  • ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
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  • ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
  • ... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
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  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
  • ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
  • ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?

IN 7H3 N3W5

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Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland

Upcoming deaths: IranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

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March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day

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Cthulhu's Vacation
"Hey, guys! Where ya goin'? I'm all packed and... aaaww, shit, there goes the bus."

Image credit: Some user
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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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