Babel:1337

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Garlicbreadwithcheese.png

Garlic bread adventure!

You feel an emptiness inside you, a deep pit in your soul that nothing man-made can fill. How many years has it been since you felt her hair running through your fingers?

None of that matters. The only thing that makes you happy now is garlic bread. You know it’s bad for your health, and you know it smells like the underpants of a sweaty Gondola rower, but you can’t help yourself.

DID Y0U KN0W...

Sophia (Censored).jpg
  • ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured)
TDF portrait.png
Stalinman.png
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  • ... that Wikipedia contains millions of articles written by countless anonymous contributors? (Pictured)
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  • ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
  • ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
  • ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
  • ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
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  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
  • ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?

IN 7H3 N3W5

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Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter ParalympicsSaturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed

Recent deaths: Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the world died to him • BuffyXander Harris

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

Water? You mean like from the toilet?

March 22: World Water Day

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Insert image title here, without link
The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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