Babel:1337

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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.

As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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DID Y0U KN0W...

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  • ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured)
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  • ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... that I think you know what's happening today?
  • ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
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  • ... that the police are at your door?
  • ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
  • ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
  • ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
  • ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
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  • ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
  • ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
  • ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
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  • ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
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IN 7H3 N3W5

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Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Filesr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad ArnoldNFL season • Winter OlympicsSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanEric DaneMelania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert CarradineWarner Bros. bidding war • Neil SedakaM-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and other Iranian leaders

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton ReviewsMahmoud Ahmadinejad (according to Wikipedia)Avicii (according to Wikipedia)

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy and snow handling capability • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' MaduroIran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to rememberMexicoSmiling Friends

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Total cutie on the left

March 2: International Genderflip Cartoon Characters Day

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""Saving"" Private Elmo
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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