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“This is one small step for a gentleman, rather too much for working class types, I fear.” – Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel
With these words Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel (RN retired) became the first man to set foot on the moon. Moments later Group Captain Perkin "Tubby" Warbeck planted the Union Jack in the moon-dust and claimed Earth's only natural satellite for England, for King George and for tax-purposes. Flight Lieutenant Gerald "Stinky" Rawlings stood to attention and saluted through tear-stained eyes from the confines of the command module "Heart of Oak", unable to take part in the actual landing due to a grammar school education.
The story of how these two brave men and their batman came to be 400,000 kilometres from the nearest tea-shop is one of the most inspiring and yet little known tales in modern history. (Full article...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that the Southern United States is well-known for its "Southern Hospitality"? (Pictured)
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
- ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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Too bad you can't customize this in the original.
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WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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