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Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)

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... that the Southern United States is well-known for its "Southern Hospitality"? (Pictured)

... that the Angel of Death is after you? (Pictured)

... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?

... that the Deep-fried Mars Bar is responsible for the deaths of thousands in Scotland? (Pictured)

... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
... that my mom's name is also Martha?
... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that this sentence is incomple

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that Earth is the best planet in the world?

... that the Washington Niggers (Pictured) are set to change their name?

... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
... that you've just lost the game?
... that the police are at your door?
... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?

... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)

... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?

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Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|**
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March 12: Indecent Exposure Day 1504 - Michelangelo's David lambasted by contemporary Italian critics for being insufficiently endowed (Pictured). 1923 - Mankind declares war on the rainforest after a tree lands on my infant boy, you are dead to me trees dead to me. 1962 - Beach bums take over much of Southern California, rendering it uninhabitable for decades. 1982 - Hospital administrators announce that disco has slipped into a coma and not expected to survive. 1994 - The Church of England allows women to become priests, but only on Sundays. 2011 - A Nuclear power plant in Japan explodes after massive earthquake and tsunami, Japanese children are born kinda fat now: coincidence? \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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