Babel:1337

7|-|3 c0n73n7-fr33 3n(y(10p3di@ 7|-|47 4ny0n3 (@n 3di7.

40,978 @r7ic135 in 3ng1i5|-|

B3GINN3R'5 GUID3 · 7|-|3 BIG FI\/3 · 57Y13 · QU357I0N5 · |-|31P · D0N47I0N5

C473G0RI35 · F347UR3D C0N73N7 · 4-Z IND3X

Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.

Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

DID Y0U KN0W...

... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that I am Batman?
... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that gender is a scam invented in 1825 to sell more bathrooms?
... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?

... that liberals want to eat your children? (Pictured)

... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
... that there is one imposter among us?

... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured)

... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise?
... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?
... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?

... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)

... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?

... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)

... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?

4RC|-|I\/3 – 5UGG357 N3W 3N7RI35

IN 7H3 N3W5
World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|**
0N 7HI5 D4Y...
March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under something else. 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition, featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger. 1964 - The ping pong incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me. 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for Phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming 'hooked'. 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet. 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEllepsy. 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day. \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3

The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image credit: Sliferjam
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

3DI7
R3C3N7 4R7IC135

WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,978 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Farts!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,978	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105	伪基百科汉语 China 8269
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812	Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19	Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234	Neciclopedie Română Romania 167	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.