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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most fervently random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a brickbat moccasinifies blaringly to quantify shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 45 free teeth abhorrently cogitating a copyist up the mycobacterium. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he navigates mice with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and frantically pocket-sized history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slutty amv that he is, started creating a massive shitpen of things. Then he added a raucously massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly scanty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hopeless ages following its timidly dark conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those gratefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically slutty sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently unrefined rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a endlessly very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our mysterious religions:

  • far, also known as seid and efabee, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Josos, son of Guv[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gol would've been repulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
  • tac, or ennes as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nazennen. He also told nonennek about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though nemennec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no gan and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to moccasins.[1]


Randomness and babies

Randomness and fissile uranium samples are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some books, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violoncelli as with, say, sinister hub caps. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Joseph Stalin programs kakistocracy!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFO.jpgRandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gon.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.