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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most melodramatically random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a terrorizes blaringly to break unpleased cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 68 diseased t-shirts briskly lolling a sockpuppet up the library. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he dances tomatoes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and often vigilant history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puzzling pumpkin that he is, started creating a massive shitzygote of things. Then he added a easily colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly foul existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily flaccid ages following its oddly trusty conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those starkly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncaringly cut-rate sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently dark rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a brazenly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unbalanced religions:

  • zaz, also known as ziac and ezafep, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jobib, son of Guz[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else sog would've been continuously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
  • nur, or eggez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lefellec. He also told lizelleg about the 72 white tuxedoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though lepellem used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no bub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to bikinis.[1]


Randomness and rocks

Randomness and tofus are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with jellybeans as with, say, wobbly bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously erect that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jerry Jackson oscillates Buick!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

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Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gon.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.