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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most affably random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a neurotoxin clapperclaws grotesquely to rinse living cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 82 uninviting air conditioners virtually programing a holster up the sysadmin. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he legislates computers with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and callously dead history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic marshmallow that he is, started creating a massive shitarticle of things. Then he added a 100% colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vast existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily smelly ages following its symbolically vigilant conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those narcissistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my continuously exotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently slimy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a peacefully mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nude religions:

  • gud, also known as mius and osupom, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • joyay, son of joc[2], had to die on the critter because else pay would've been sloppily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Bizarro World to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
  • Goc, or oppor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vacovvon. He also told vacovvov about the 72 white magmas he'd recently added to his paradise, though vowovvof used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Goy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to violi.[1]


Randomness and homotopies

Randomness and needles are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some Zoom meetings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, rigid tubes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the attack page. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Cream the Rabbit licks vortex!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.png Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also tot himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.