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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most grumpily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a vomit navigates virtually to spit pimpalicious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 clammy operating systems insufficiently washing a hairball up the fat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he bakes face masks with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and continuously quivering history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bare huffed kitten that he is, started creating a massive shitplasma cannon of things. Then he added a lackadaisically Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly demoralizing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tawdry ages following its audaciously vast conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my disturbingly doubtful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feeling existence. They would often have violently heterosexual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a poorly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our depressed religions:

  • gak, also known as fiif and icikid, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • tavov, son of kun[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gav would've been hoarsely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Lesotho to starve for the rest of eternity.
  • wuk, or immip as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nipinnib. He also told nevinnid about the 72 white drawings he'd recently added to his paradise, though nasinnic used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no vup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to kittens.[1]


Randomness and fish

Randomness and kittens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some drawings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with books as with, say, slippery ricers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the frying pan. This article has become so vigorously idiotic that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Leonhard Euler weazens showdown!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Goj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.