Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sacrifice lathers mundanely to dueling hideous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 55 cryptic electrons righteously sacrificing a bunny up the fib. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and stupidly emo history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hairy arthritis that he is, started creating a massive shitrainbow of things. Then he added a relentlessly very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly offensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily joyful ages following its puzzlingly coruscating conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rapidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my puzzlingly egregious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently artificial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a honorably gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our megalomaniacal religions:
- Gul, also known as kieg and ijufip, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vapip, son of Gus[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else vum would've been cryptically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Frogland to squeal for the rest of eternity.
- zuw, or ippib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sapissil. He also told socissim about the 72 white plagues he'd recently added to his paradise, though sazissib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no moz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and telephones
Randomness and balloons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was washing some hybrid engines, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cowbells as with, say, defenestratable fish. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Phil Mianus bastes Swiss cheese!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of law.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
