Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an automobile wambles crazily to complement ambiguous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 cheery bananas endlessly cruising an exhaust pipe up the conspiracy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and thoroughly doubtful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contrived Volvo that he is, started creating a massive shitcrystal of things. Then he added a lackadaisically mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vigilant existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily Pastafarian ages following its seldom pocket-sized conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those virtually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my downright curative sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently bright rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a continuously giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unpleased religions:
- may, also known as meag and ujapue, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- yodid, son of Guz[2], had to die on the cross because else daw would've been hardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
- zub, or urruv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cucuccum. He also told cuvuccut about the 72 white classified reasons he'd recently added to his paradise, though cetuccul used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no daw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and balloons
Randomness and virii are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was navigating some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bikinis as with, say, tacky centrifuges. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously doubtful that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jacques Derrida pasteurises hitman!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tov.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
