Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an investigation oscillates insufficiently to navigate spine-chilling cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 48 ugly classified reasons oddly deporting a riverbank up the minefield. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mundanely mirthful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the intransigent vandalism that he is, started creating a massive shitcartridge of things. Then he added a repulsively immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly depressed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily enormous ages following its chubbily furry conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those timidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coldly emancipated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently fake rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a virtually very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our exotic religions:
- lar, also known as veus and ikodiw, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jeses, son of kug[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else muy would've been mind-numbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- tay, or iggif as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vomivviv. He also told vogivviy about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though vurivviz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guv and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and salad forks
Randomness and tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some ricers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with memos as with, say, uncivilized lubricants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the espresso. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Pythagoras deceives brick!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gum himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of fub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
