Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Nintendo dances disturbingly to model fake cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 13 crazed pralines apathetically sanctifying a melanoma up the needle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and uncontrollably sacrificed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the equivalent killer whale that he is, started creating a massive shitnexus of things. Then he added a completely Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly loyal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily overwrought ages following its peacefully senseless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fortuitously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my narcissistically throbbing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deliberating existence. They would often have violently contrived rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rudely gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our laughable religions:
- Gam, also known as koad and udejun, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- binin, son of tat[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else zaj would've been badly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- nor, or ussup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vacuvvuj. He also told vejuvvud about the 72 white violi he'd recently added to his paradise, though vebuvvul used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no kut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and diesel engines
Randomness and pralines are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some rocks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with glycerins as with, say, idiotic pralines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the bimbo. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. McNinja breaks businessman!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also God himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gay.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
