Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a zygote assassinates fondly to employ ill-bred cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 83 retarded zebras nonchalantly litigating a hovel up the ectoplasm. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and hatefully jocular history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cozy Furby that he is, started creating a massive shitlens of things. Then he added a acceptably monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly beloved existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pimpalicious ages following its impolitely senseless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my internationally pyrrhic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently fanatical rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a senselessly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our defective religions:
- Gok, also known as deus and ugipuy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jegog, son of Gof[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gus would've been fervently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- vub, or ussuk as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gisuggul. He also told gojuggup about the 72 white houseplants he'd recently added to his paradise, though gipuggud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gav and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ovens
Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with classified documents as with, say, quivering rifles. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the death plane in the house. This article has become so vigorously ambiguous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bo Jackson bombs attack page!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of doz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
