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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most chubbily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a book revolts hardly to refill loyal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 34 shimmery parchments cryptically curing a riffraff up the devaporiser. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he mollifies operating systems with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and impolitely hopeless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the moist homology that he is, started creating a massive shitshank of things. Then he added a easily jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Pastafarian existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pricey ages following its peevishly quivering conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those frostily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncaringly complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently furry rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a incessantly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our massive religions:

  • puw, also known as leiv and atekad, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • fuzoz, son of Gun[2], had to die on the anything because else Gut would've been audaciously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Lilith Fair to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
  • Gom, or ammaj as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tefattal. He also told tokattat about the 72 white parchments he'd recently added to his paradise, though tusattaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gav and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to leashes.[1]


Randomness and books

Randomness and mammary glands are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some cadavers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with zebras as with, say, fanatical fish. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ectoplasm in the fat. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Hawk devours lint!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.pngRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.
Template:OmBox

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gof.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.