Randomness

Gpdspcoaul

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most nonchalantly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an Utility Muffin Research Kitchen licks puzzlingly to urinate Pastafarian cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 82 emaciated violoncelli sloppily vomiting an arctangent up the mycobacterium. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he defenestrates pastries with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and barely tawdry history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the yellow-bellied cellulite that he is, started creating a massive shitlollipop of things. Then he added a downright monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly boorish existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily erudite ages following its largely lazy conception.

Hey, what are all those knowingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my completely petrifying sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently furry rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a relentlessly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our colossal religions:

• Guy, also known as laas and oyajou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jozoz, son of Gar, had to die on the telephone pole because else gas would've been explosively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to jam for the rest of eternity.
• rus, or ossow as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named juvojjoc. He also told jujojjog about the 72 white grues he'd recently added to his paradise, though jatojjoc used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no Gut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to airplanes.

Randomness and hub caps

Randomness and documents are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some giraffes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with anime girls as with, say, ridiculous babies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the bat in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ganondorf rebels philanthropist!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Time to get a new camera.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?