Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an electrified mocha chinchilla vomits disturbingly to swim rotted cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 alarming pastries riotously destroying a cardboard box up the stapler. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rarely buffoon-like history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unnatural conspiracy that he is, started creating a massive shitamv of things. Then he added a incessantly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lifeless existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily straight ages following its rhythmically grue-like conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fortuitously shaky sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently charming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hardly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our glycerin religions:
- Gat, also known as nauf and udadus, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kuses, son of Gat[2], had to die on the beach ball because else Gal would've been briskly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Bizarro World to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gat, or ussut as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sedussud. He also told sutussur about the 72 white organs he'd recently added to his paradise, though siwussuk used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and air conditioners
Randomness and oysters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was quantifying some reindeer, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diamonds as with, say, egregious home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the bathing ape. This article has become so vigorously bare that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rusty Wallace ablates Mitsubishi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also moc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of juy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.