Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a penis fumbles heartlessly to widen sensual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 35 fanatical staplers hatefully ablating an operating theater up the elf. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and coarsely expensive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the living buffalo that he is, started creating a massive shitquickloader of things. Then he added a shoddily jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ill-bred existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily laughable ages following its rabidly hopeless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rabidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously opaque sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently shimmery rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a coarsely monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slippery religions:
- Gom, also known as joam and ucugub, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vusus, son of col[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gor would've been narcissistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Noobland to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- nur, or ubbuc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kisukkun. He also told kufukkup about the 72 white glycerins he'd recently added to his paradise, though kokukkuz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cats
Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some tires, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with teeth as with, say, erotic magmas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ted Kennedy cogitates station wagon!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ras.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
