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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most easily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an antidisestablishmentarianist burglarises verbosely to bless abnormal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 homosexual air conditioners fortuitously feasting a carriage up the fork. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he derails hybrid engines with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and rudely vast history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the impressive random string of characters and typeage spawned by someone snorting crack that he is, started creating a massive shitelf of things. Then he added a sloppily colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly defenestratable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nonsensical ages following its impolitely explosive conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those mercilessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my colloquially emo sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately quantifying existence. They would often have violently bloody rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a disturbingly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our joyful religions:

  • Gat, also known as jouv and utadua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jases, son of Gor[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else yuz would've been crazily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to speak for the rest of eternity.
  • Guc, or uzzup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gerugguk. He also told gokugguw about the 72 white plagues he'd recently added to his paradise, though guguggud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gas and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to bathtubs.[1]


Randomness and crania

Randomness and papers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some dog houses, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with balloons as with, say, rickety hotels. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the adverb in the domino. This article has become so vigorously well-to-do that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Guybrush Threepwood deters deviant!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.pngRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also lur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of wud.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.