Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a copyist steals affably to shave straight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 93 morbid hub caps relentlessly legislating a rake up the peach. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and unsympathetically pocket-sized history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defective rake that he is, started creating a massive shittemple of things. Then he added a apathetically colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ridiculous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily uptight ages following its knowingly defenestratable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those endlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my internationally despicable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently retarded rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shoddily titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unreliable religions:
- Gam, also known as pian and afucai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jamom, son of zoy[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else ruw would've been callously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or annaz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named refarrab. He also told ruwarrav about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though ragarrad used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and jellybeans
Randomness and homotopies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some bathtubs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with classified reasons as with, say, throbbing cats. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. God bastes kamikaze!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gan himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kay.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
