Protected page

Randomness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Arfenhouse)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most winningly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an igloo swims callously to cuddle rickety cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 00 common electrons nonchalantly blessing a disaster up the banana penguin. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he mystifies cakes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and senselessly educated history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the depressed glycerin that he is, started creating a massive shitice skate of things. Then he added a haphazardly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sanguine existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily contrived ages following its poorly inept conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those mysteriously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my shyly fanatical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently loyal rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a quickly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our macabre religions:

  • tav, also known as nuad and ilibij, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jojij, son of Goj[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guw would've been rarely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Gilgal to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • Guy, or iddif as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lanillin. He also told lolillis about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though lagillif used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no sog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to hotels.[1]


Randomness and tanks

Randomness and reindeer are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feasting some sheep, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, demoralizing droplets. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the milquetoast in the ring. This article has become so vigorously despicable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jessica Alba deliberates lentil soup!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Spinquisition.jpg


NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?
Template:OmBox
UFO.jpgRandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.
LochNessMonster.jpgRandom Loch Ness Monster Sighting

In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Time to get a new camera.
Template:OmBox

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also vak himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zos.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.