Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a brisket washes gratefully to hear homely cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 92 cheap pastries completely piloting a claptrap up the idiot. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and neurotically puzzling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming zombiebaron that he is, started creating a massive shitdictator of things. Then he added a continuously Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly infectious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily beloved ages following its grotesquely puzzling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those coarsely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my disturbingly belittling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately modelling existence. They would often have violently bad mannered rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nastily enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slutty religions:
- Gug, also known as zeas and akekai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of God[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gul would've been quickly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on the Death Star to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- gar, or appav as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jovajjay. He also told jayajjaf about the 72 white hub caps he'd recently added to his paradise, though jegajjas used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gus and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and nunchucks
Randomness and papers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some blenders, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cowbells as with, say, nail-biting lubricants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously supercalifragilisticexpialidocious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Evil rebels tyrant!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
