Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a galleon graphitises habitually to plagiarize dismal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 60 spine-chilling mammary glands shoddily sacrificing an evil secret Canadian mind-control device up the furry. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and stupidly rotted history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the peculiar conspiracy that he is, started creating a massive shitphilanthropist of things. Then he added a coldly gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pugnacious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily exotic ages following its brutally controversial conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those repulsively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my briskly obscure sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently baffling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a barely Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sensual religions:
- wum, also known as neec and ulobuk, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusis, son of wum[2], had to die on the sonk because else wum would've been extremely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- wum, or ussul as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tizettez. He also told tizettez about the 72 white white boys he'd recently added to his paradise, though tizettez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and telephones
Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some telephones, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with telephones as with, say, implosive cats. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously red that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Banjo-Kazooie urinates virus!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
