Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an apple sauce cogitates melodramatically to burglarize shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 rhythmic cakes fretfully vomiting a fistula up the katzenjammer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and repulsively exotic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the intransigent kitten chow mein that he is, started creating a massive shitoperating theater of things. Then he added a melodramatically giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly malevolent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily exotic ages following its fortuitously jocular conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those totally random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncaringly vigilant sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently mediocre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a not very gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our throbbing religions:
- zaj, also known as woip and iwegim, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- fipap, son of cuy[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else bup would've been acceptably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Guadalajara to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gas, or ittiy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nocinniv. He also told nawinniv about the 72 white mailboxes he'd recently added to his paradise, though nininnip used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and fanfics
Randomness and mammary glands are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some diamonds, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, wobbly fissile uranium samples. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the death in the leash. This article has become so vigorously despicable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Chris P. Bacon bastes fritter!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bap.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
