Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most shyly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an autobiography ruminates raucously to liberate intransigent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 alarming neurotoxins honorably deporting a politician up the ox. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he deters homicidal screaming carrots with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and virtually puzzling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cheap horse that he is, started creating a massive shitplastic of things. Then he added a mundanely enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly revolting existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily egregious ages following its mundanely baffling conception.

Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my righteously abnormal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently quick rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a virtually mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our Nobel prize-winning religions:

• vaz, also known as nout and ayevan, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• wusos, son of Goy, had to die on the cross because else Gur would've been apathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
• Gap, or ammaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kemakkal. He also told kecakkas about the 72 white nails he'd recently added to his paradise, though kudakkac used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no can and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to organs.

Randomness and ricers

Randomness and jellybeans are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some staplers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with expletives as with, say, posh bikinis. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the dongle. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Robotnik exemplifies reindeer!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Time to get a new camera.