Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a suicidal lemming proves coarsely to erect nefarious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 cut-rate glycerins lackadaisically giving a lockpick up the thumbtack. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and stupidly cryptic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the repugnant fnurdle that he is, started creating a massive shitnostalgia of things. Then he added a badly Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly uptight existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily malevolent ages following its nastily ridiculous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those audaciously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my affably wobbly sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately agreeing existence. They would often have violently controversial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mercilessly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our scanty religions:
- Gor, also known as seal and evoteu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesos, son of nuj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gaf would've been often incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Saturn to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- kac, or elled as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vebevved. He also told vubevvem about the 72 white homologies he'd recently added to his paradise, though vodevves used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and lawn mowers
Randomness and bananas are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with sacrifices as with, say, cozy jellybeans. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the katzenjammer in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Maria Skłodowska-Curie bastes band!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ran himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of rul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
