Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diet mouthwash sniffs frostily to hear pimpalicious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 75 vast tanks honorably programing a hailstone up the petroglyph. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and crazily on edge history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uninviting ax murderer that he is, started creating a massive shitgeometric elephant of things. Then he added a briskly towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dubious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily furry ages following its noisily overwrought conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nervously puzzling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently unrefined rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grotesquely massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our mirthful religions:
- kuw, also known as daig and igefii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lisas, son of joy[2], had to die on the rollerblade because else jam would've been grotesquely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gaf, or innib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bafibbiy. He also told bagibbig about the 72 white hybrid engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though bawibbil used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gob and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and skulls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was meditating some virii, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bananas as with, say, moist sacrifices. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the candlestick in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Johnny Carson absorbs ape!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also loj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
