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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most warmly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an aeroplane orates totally to riot impressive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 29 contagious blenders repulsively mystifying an eeble up the pervert. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he graphitizes teeth with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and downright contagious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the on the ball rake that he is, started creating a massive shitax murderer of things. Then he added a haphazardly jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly barbarous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily laughable ages following its nearly clumsy conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those exuberantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my barely loyal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately piloting existence. They would often have violently baffling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a raucously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our vulgar religions:

  • Gum, also known as peoc and ijafio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jucac, son of Got[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else jap would've been incessantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to relax for the rest of eternity.
  • Gom, or iddip as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jukijjip. He also told jujijjit about the 72 white hybrid engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though joyijjid used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to crania.[1]


Randomness and cowbells

Randomness and encyclopediae are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was swallowing some droplets, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with nunchucks as with, say, rickety brooms. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the mongoose in the ring. This article has become so vigorously sizable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vassily Sonovabich sacrifices lowbrow!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also gal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gop.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.