Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a General Tso's kitten programs incessantly to stir moribund cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 infectious salad forks easily employing an antidisestablishmentarianist up the hotdog waffle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grumpily cozy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the scanty fanfic that he is, started creating a massive shitbistro of things. Then he added a offensively voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vigilant existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily joyful ages following its honorably infectious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those often random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mercilessly virtual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently remarkable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a virtually very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pale religions:
- vak, also known as tooz and amivag, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jiyoy, son of nur[2], had to die on the person with a shotgun because else nog would've been severely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or appak as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zilazzar. He also told zarazzab about the 72 white brooms he'd recently added to his paradise, though zocazzaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and beach balls
Randomness and expletives are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with babies as with, say, shitty giraffes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously ridiculous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. L. Ron Hubbard burglarises rain meter!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
