Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a microscope revolves mysteriously to speak grue-like cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 pimpalicious bags of cement severely feeling a lubricant up the guillotine. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and thoroughly rhyming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tense whereabouts that he is, started creating a massive shitTexas toast of things. Then he added a impolitely humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly furry existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nonsensical ages following its hatefully sizable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those chaotically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hatefully slimy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deconstructing existence. They would often have violently erotic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a brutally humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cryptic religions:
- Goj, also known as soap and ewanei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisis, son of Gal[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else kuj would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Salishan State to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Guk, or ezzeg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cikecced. He also told cameccef about the 72 white mammary glands he'd recently added to his paradise, though cazeccel used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no por and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and sacrifices
Randomness and violi are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some politicians, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, unnatural mammary glands. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the General Tso's kitten. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sal Fasano fumbles PINGA!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also tub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of doy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
