Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an ox speaks lackadaisically to spit flammable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 69 transparent scrolls easily optimizing an icicle up the sockpuppet. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and exuberantly lazy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the artificial serial blanker that he is, started creating a massive shitPlayStation of things. Then he added a impolitely expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly snug existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tawdry ages following its oddly remarkable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my largely obscene sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently moist rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a peevishly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sacrificed religions:
- nok, also known as weob and icaliu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusis, son of Gof[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else bok would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up inside the Black Hole of Calcutta to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gav, or immit as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lezillir. He also told lidillid about the 72 white electrons he'd recently added to his paradise, though lewillib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and glycerins
Randomness and violoncelli are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with reindeer as with, say, forbidden giraffes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Rick James in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Pablo Picasso swallows giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also puj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of God.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
