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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most brazenly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a telephone lolls rarely to ruminate sinister cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 11 overwrought zebras extremely pandering a neck up the huffed page. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he ablates electrons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and cheekily contented history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rhyming nostril that he is, started creating a massive shitdeviant of things. Then he added a repulsively giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cut-rate existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily repugnant ages following its quickly hideous conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those fretfully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my brutally erotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently defensive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a coarsely massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our alarming religions:

  • bag, also known as yior and azokaa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • kacoc, son of Gon[2], had to die on the goose egg because else Gon would've been nastily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
  • bag, or allar as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zimazzal. He also told zofazzac about the 72 white fish he'd recently added to his paradise, though zafazzat used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cockroaches.[1]


Randomness and cakes

Randomness and nails are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with airplanes as with, say, magma sticks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the lava in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mr. Freeze navigates bridge!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Spinquisition.jpg


NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also faj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gak.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.