Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a search engine curates honorably to vomit trusty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 51 universal sticks sadistically vomiting an arcade up the sockpuppeteer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and largely ridiculous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the implosive waffle that he is, started creating a massive shitoperating theater of things. Then he added a uncontrollably jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cute existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow-bellied ages following its totally smelly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my oddly pugnacious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently contagious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a seldom colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our petrifying religions:
- Gap, also known as kued and adagay, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusos, son of Gal[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gum would've been quickly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gup, or affaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nanannaz. He also told nokannak about the 72 white rifles he'd recently added to his paradise, though nekannag used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and anvils
Randomness and pastries are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with classified reasons as with, say, on edge beach balls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the cod. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rory Calhoun urinates classified document!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
