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From today's featured article 

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Jimmy Whiteman is the current dictator of Jamaica and Panama, where his crime family is currently headquartered. Well known for his criminal expertise, it's thought that Whiteman and his crime family have literally robbed everything in the world. Perhaps his most famous robbery is his heist on the Pentagon, where he literally stole the building.

Jimmy Whiteman birthed himself out of a can of beans on July 4, 1969. The young Whiteman said his first words a couple seconds after birth, in which he simply said; "Motherfucker." What this means is unknown. At the ripe age of 3 days old, Whiteman gave a wedgie to another toddler, which was later revealed to be Donald Trump. Whiteman shouted expletives at Trump and ran off, going into hiding. The F.B.I. immediately made Whiteman one of the Top 10 Most Wanted due to Trump's father giving the F.B.I. a small loan of one million dollars. After about three months of hiding in some shithole town in Idaho, Whiteman paid off the F.B.I. using a treasure chest full of gold doubloons. Soon after this, Whiteman swam from the United States to Vietnam to fight in the ongoing war. Whiteman washed on the shores of Vietnam and was immediately captured by NVA troops. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that reading this DYK suggestion just wasted 10 seconds of your life?
  • ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?

In the news 

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Joe Biden has won the 2024 presidential election, confusion grows rampant in America

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Aaron Rodgers screwing over the New York Jets • The New York Yankees' World Series win drought, courtesy of the Dodgers
Recent deaths: The chances of a One Direction reunion • Yahya Sinwar • Phil Lesh • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • United States
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay

On this day 

November 6: Rickroll Day
  • 1962 - Rick Astley born (homosexual).
  • 1987 - Astley robs a bank and finds himself involved in hopeless gunfight, but vows never to give up. Has idea for song.
  • 2007 - the first recorded Rickroll amuses internet uses for 15-20 minutes.
  • 2010 - the last recorded Rickroll, performed by your dad.
  • 2024 - Kids these days. Don't even know what a Rickroll is.

Picture of the day

Sharks
 Sharks with frikkin' laser-beams attached to their frikkin' heads.

Image credit: Rei
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,291 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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