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From today's featured article
Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment, was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn" for the fight. It sounds fancier.
The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.
The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.
Biden won in ten rounds by knockout. Trump dealt with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat. The criticism and insults online caused Trump to deactivate all his accounts on social media temporarily. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured)
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
In the news
- Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match
- Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
- The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
- Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... and another sexual assaulter as defense secretary
- Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
- Obama smears poop on daycare
- Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality (Pictured)
- UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump
- Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America
- 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow
- TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"
Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance"
Recent deaths: Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • Democrat party • Tony Todd • The Dallas Cowboys' and New York Jets' seasons • Boxing
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump
On this day
November 20: Sophia Day
- 10,000 BC - Sophia, the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, invents boobs, which are like an ass, but on the front this time.
- 500 BC - Greeks invent philosophy, made from the words "philos" meaning love, and "sofia", which means Sophia Loren.
- 403 - The Hagia Sohpia, known for its majestic curves and giant stonking domes, is completed in Constantinople.
- 1917 - World War I: Battle of Cambrai: The Allies make surprise attack on the German Trenches, a young Adolf Hitler is caught jerking off to pictures of sheep at the barracks.
- 1970 - Sophia Loren wins the Academy Award for Best Actress For Life, for a candid home video which was mistakenly submitted to the Academy.
Picture of the day
It'll have the kids saying, "Jawohl, mein Führer!" Image credit: Splaka |
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