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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

“Fools make a mock-at-sin: but among the righteous there is favour.”
– Proverbs 14:9

THE COLOR OF THE GODS • THE HUE OF SALVATION • THE SECRET TO IMMORTALITY • THE BEGINNING AND END OF ALL THAT IS INSANE • THE FUCKING OF THE BATS (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)

MOCCASINS ARE BEIGNESS AND BEIGNESS IS MOCCASINS • MOCASSINGS PROTECT ALL THAT IS HOLY AND YOUR FAMILY HONOUR • LIVE FOREVER IN YOUR MOCCASINS • THE MOCASSIN IS ALPHA AND THE MOCASSIN IS OMEGA • MOCASSIN EXCEPTIONALISM IMPERMEATES THE FABRIC OF TIME AND SPACE • (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5) (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that Nelson Mandela (Pictured) was a cunt?

... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

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In the news [edit]

moccasins.

Uncyclopedia commemorates on this 15th November the grace of moccasins. (Pictured)
Scientists discover potato god, Potaculoues's fossil
Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea
Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd
Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues
Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon!
United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports
A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race
US government shitdown ends after over 1000 flights inundated with shit
New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor
Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
Dingo eats a woman's baby
Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
The US government shits itself

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • Mark Butt-fumble's TV career • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Coral reefs • NYC's capitalistic economy • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami Dolphins • Weed • Stranger Things

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On this day [edit]

November 15: Rock Your Mocs Day

1491 - Christopher Columbus arrives at the New World, only to be told that he is a year early.
1533 - Francisco Pizarro arrives in Cuzco, Peru. He notices that the iguanas have unusually piercing stares.
1726 - Shenandoah, Chief of the Oneida Indians, invents a new type of footwear, made of deerskin leather stitched into a soft shoe. (Pictured)
1727 - A group of unscrupulous Europeans, led by Leon "L. L." Bean, steal the secrets of the moccasin, and send Shenandoah a paltry 1.5% royalty fee for each pair sold.
1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte establishes the Fashion Police and makes it illegal to wear any shoes that are not moccasins.
1941 - Heinrich Himmler orders all homosexuals in Germany to be sent to concentration camps: the Wehrmacht, once the most fashionable army in the world, soon find themselves poorly groomed and wearing fatigues that clash with their boots.

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Picture of the day

"Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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