User talk:Markslams

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Welcome![edit source]

Hello, Markslams, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! 

The brain welcomes you!
Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. Now, some personal non-official advice:
  • Always start an article with something already shaped like an article. You may not create a blank page or an one line introduction - admins will delete it or you may receive that ugly ICU tag.
  • You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are utterly overused and not welcome anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon chiché (if you want respect, trust me, try French instead of Internet-Speak). Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
  • Another stuff we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
  • Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
  • Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
  • And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually. herr doktor needsAbeam Rocket.gif [scream!] 03:29, 13 March 2008 (UTC)