User:The Vegan

The Vegan: a small creature that can be found lingering outside McDonald's restaurants and other happy go lucky buildings in the business of selling the innards of variou farm animals as scummy snacks of heavenly goodness. Being that, a vegan, The Vegan does not partake of the cow carcase goodness, but instead protests against animal cruelty, even though it's widely known these 'victims' gladly take their own lives as to add to the bounty of the human race's food supply.

It's habitats can be found under any kind of table and within various keyholes. It's diet is unknown because it can't fucking eat anything that exists. Eating something that has any amount of substance could easily lead to The Vegan's death. It is theorised this non-beast is sustained by it's own imagination, no matter how limited that maybe, feeding on thoughts generated, by it's own mind, to have no consciousness, substance or existence of any kind. Of course, this act of self-ingestion of it's mind leads The Vegan to have very limited brain power, only retaining enough for motor skills and the occasional splutter of unfunny jokes.

I'm The Vegan the Moderate, small in stature, large in power, narrow of purpose, and wide of vision. I have the power to make your piss turn green!" *while unsheathing a veggie burger*: "Let me introduce you to a friend of mine..."