User:EricIsOnFire/Assassin's Creed II

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Assassin's Creed II is a sandbox-style role-playing game for the Playstation 3 and X-Box 360, released in 2009 (or during the Renaissance in Italy, depending on your understanding of the space–time continuum). The game serves as the sequel-to-the-prequel Assassin's Creed. The game features a new main character (unfortunately we're not talking about Desmond Miles) named Ezio Auditore de Firenze.

It is clear that Michael Bay wants to direct a movie on Ezio Auditore's life with an addition of many explosions.[citation needed]

Is that a Mexican?
Damn, Ezio! You look pissed!

New features[edit | edit source]

Assassin's Creed II is a step up from its predecessor, Assassin's Creed. This game contains less bullshit and some other nifty features. Unlike its predecessor, the game actually contains night and day. Players who were not familiar with night and day cycles in Eurasia may have became confused whether or not night existed in any of the locations from Assassin's Creed. These no0bz finally could determine whether foreign countries had nighttime with the addition of Assassin's Creed II.

Unlike Altaïr, Ezio Audiotore can swim because he isn't an idiot.

Eagle Vision can now identify people, targets, and landmarks. Eagle Vision can be used to stalk exes and also an efficient amount of weapons are added. Due to the new supply of weapons, the player can drop shittier weapons and replace them with more efficient ones, such as assault rifles.

The player can now "make it rain". Yes, Ubisoft actually lets you throw money on the ground for filthy low class civilians to pig out on. Carrying a corpse and then throwing it on the ground obnoxiously can earn you smackdown points and serve as a distraction to guards and civilians.

You can loot the dead because why–the–hell–not?

The enemy AI is less stupid now. No more cheap ass escape joy rides into the sunset by sitting on a bench completely in sight. Hiding in plain sight will get you no where in Assassin's Creed II. Players may recall the days when hiding in plain sight was a good tactic. Those days are no more.

Leonardo FUCKING da Vinci is in the game. LEONARDO.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Assassin's Creed II takes place immediately after the end events of Assassin's Creed. Desmond Miles is still ticked off at Abstergo Industries for kidnapping him and for forcing him to study his ancestor Altaïr. He has discovered the warning from Subject 16 predicting the end of the world—or the end of Starbucks.

Lucy Stillman soon rescues him. She is a mole and she takes him to meet some other stylish Modern day Assassins, known as Shaun White and Rebecca Black. They have a new version of the Animus for Desmond to waste his time in synchronizing with his grandfathers' fathers.

Alas, the Renaissance.

See also[edit | edit source]