User:Simsilikesims/List of weapons that shoot other weapons that don't exist, but should

This class of weapons includes an infinite number of variations, any one of which could have been used against Saddam Hussein by Baghdad Bob if he'd only had it available.

Gun That Shoots Guns

This might sound boring, and it is. The gun that shoots guns can do no more than knock your opponent unconscious, this is because the gun that shoots guns only allows you to pistol-whip your enemies over great distances; such as they do to Oprah in The Color Purple.

Use of the gun comes with a risk due to the fact that if you miss, you have now armed your enemy with a boring, yet perhaps more lethal, gun.

Fire Extinguisher That Shoots Fire

This is just your average fire extinguisher that shoots fiaaar! Will your enemies freeze to death, or be burned into a cloud of ashes? n00bs beware!!

Bazooka That Shoots Dogs With Chainsaws For Claws And Bazookas For Teeth That Shoot Crocidiles With Chainsaws For Claws And Bazookas For Teeth That Shoot Leopards With Chainsaws For Claws With Bazookas For Teeth That Shoot Radioactive Kumquats

................................................................................................................................................................... "BOOOOOOOM" "AHHH!!"

Gun That Shoots Laptops That are Hidden Turrets

This gun is your average gun that shoots laptops, possibly the most common gun in the universe, no biggie. But you do get an extra biggie with this one(keep your mind out of the gutter). The laptops, upon impact, turn into a .50 caliber automated turret Transformers-style.

The laptops only run on Windows Vista.

Gun that shoots clones of Justin Bieber

When you fire this gun, Justin Bieber comes out and starts singing and kills you and your enemy.

Machine pot

Your Average Plump,Round,Hard,Rough Textured gun. The Machine pot Only fires anything small,like BBs Or Pebbles. In The Bloon

Massacre, Jib Used One and popped all of the bloons using the machine pot with silver bullet mints As The Ammo. Bloons Were popped as fast as

lightning. Recommended: Fill Pot Up With Silver bullet mints And Blow On Tube.

In action:

Jib:(Blows On Pot)

Gun that shoots Relativity

this achieves relatively nothing

Gun that shoots a gun that shoots a gun

This weapon is great for cruelly raising your opponents hopes. just imagine this, you fire a gun, which shoots a gun, you opponent thinks you have foolishly armed him and shoots back at you, only to arm you with a real gun! Haha! Pwned

Russian reversal gun

In Soviet Russia, GUN SHOOT YOU!!!!!!!!!

Gun That Shoots You

Also a waste of Money. Could have manufactured it to be a single shot version. If it is a suicide gun why put more than one chamber in the cylinder?

In case you miss, obviously.

Actually it would be a brilliant marketing ploy by the Russians in order to cause more people to purchase more reversal firelegs if they do miss. but on second thought it might also send their profit plummeting because people who had to failed shots with this weapon would convince others of its unreliability.

what they should do is make a bazooka that shoots you. cant miss with that.

it is also the best gun to be used in russian roulette.

Russian reversal bazooka

thanks for the idea

                  from, russia - with love

Gun that shoots Tank Girl

Which fires out crazy overly-masculine women complete with kangaroo sidekicks.

Gun

This weapon's concept is too extreme to describe in this format.

Gun that shoots Shuriken and Lightning

could only be more awesome if it had tits and was on fire.

Nano-Ninja Shotgun

What happens when you combine a nano-ninja shotgun with a chibi ray.

This weapon is a variation on your standard issue shotgun. Instead of loading your shotgun shells with shot, you load them with nano-ninja's (ninjas that have been reduced in size to the extent that a number of them can fit in a shotgun shell). Being fired upon with the Nano-ninja Shotgun is reportedly an extremely unpleasant experience. Imagine a number of small ninjas crawling over your body inflicting various painful (although tiny) injuries. Then imagine the real danger this weapon presents to a target: the ninjas who become lodged in skin and flesh and have to fight their way out.

Nunchuks that shoot Knives

Your enemy will see a nunchuk in your hand and thus expect to be beaten to death. Imagine their surprise when a knife comes out and stabs them to death instead!

Rocket-Propelled Chainsaw Launcher

The Rocket Propelled Chainsaw Launcher. Cuts down infantry like a Redwood

This is essentially a Rocket Launcher in which one places an RPC, and from which the chainsaw is launched. Due to its design, it has very little recoil. The design project was completed by a member of a highly organised military club. The RPC was chosen for it's brutality, excellent range This has been tested in a 3-D programme so it can get the ultimate amount of pain! Poor simulation character number 3...

carbine that shoots Dib clones

is this necessary, or am i just dead? the clones act as .50 BMG bullets, but are are far deadlier. while gliding unstoppably flying in a straight path, they can fly out of the ozone layer. they are easy to put in, but the problem is how we are going to find a big enough person to fire the damned thing.oh well, it has a regular trigger of a gun, but huge and deadly. nowadays, the Dib clones are loaded in a howitzer and fires at oncoming Unidentified flying Objects. if they hit one, why in the love of fuck hasn't anyone killed Invader Zim? answer: Dib couldn't find a good enough person to use it. that, and he missed. no clones died, but they were catapulted beyond the Bermuda triangle. they lived though. Dib also got a second chance. Dib killed Invader Zim with a shot to the head so deadly, that it can only be described as a re-enactment of the watermelon headshot, but it destroyed his vehicle and blew it up i the process. a bomb-ash covered Dib clone says: Invader zim is no longer a threat.

Rocket Propelled Chainsaw

The chainsaw will kill the person really fast.Unless you miss, then the person will become enraged, and proceed to huff a kitten, making you die of jealousy.

Rapid fire bazookas that shoots chainsaws with bazookas for teeth that shoot lepards with chainsaws for claws that have bazooka's for teeth that shoot radioactive pomegranates.

The wrong weapon to use in the right situation...

Triple Nipple Shooter

A 3-barrel Nordenfelt type weapon that shoots 3 small hepatitis-b infected explosive projectiles at a fast rate of fire that instantly gives the victim 3 breasts like the hooker in Total Recall, only to blow up with nasty results. This machine gun is a cheaper, simpler alternative to Gatling type weaponry.

Jib's Proton phazer 53-20

This phaser is EXACTLY almost the same as the WunderWaffe from Call of Duty, except its clip stores 30 Pettawatts of sheer pwnage. It is also fitted with a rocket-propelled chainsaw launcher at the bottom of the barrel AND has The OMNIscope, capable of aiming farther than 60,000 fathoms with striking accuracy (See what I did there?). Its stock is as tough as titanium. It is modified to weigh 5 pounds, or 13, depending on the weather.

These topics are so confusing but this hleepd me get the job done.

surface to air watermelon

just.. it's Fooby the kamikaze watermelon,but remade by the surface-to-air kind.

air to surface watermelon

like the one above,but vice versa of the air-to-surface kind the surface to air missile is fired by a bazooka and hits the target, even if they are running, it will probably chase them down. continue chasing until it never hits you.

Chainsaw-Propelled Rocket Launcher

This weapon, invented by Thomas Edison during a trip to Soviet Russia, is essentially the opposite of the Rocket-propelled Chainsaw Launcher. Remember that the opposite of a gun is not turning it around and pointing it at yourself while you think of that. As the chainsaw turns it launches a stream of rockets out of the end of the barrel.

do not use if you have heart problems, it can lead to your heart exploding due to the awesomeness levels

Whip That Shoots Guns

A gun flies off of the whip and pistol-whips your enemies from a distance. There are many versions of this weapon, including the whip that shoots a gun that shoots rubber duckies and the feared infinite regression whip that shoots whips that shoot whips... etc.

Flamethrower That Shoots Tanks, aka Tankthrower

The weapon is approximately one meter long, and shoots bowling-ball size tanks, which are on fire. These in turn can fire at the target and are operated by miniature hamsters.There's also a monkey... and a grue

Tank That Shoots Links

This weapon is a roxxor.

This weapon has been around for a long time, starting when Chuck Norris invented Mr. T in the year 1482.6. A variation of this is the Tank That Shoots Misleading Misleading or Pointless Links.

Tank That Shoots Lynx

This is possibly the most useless kind of tank ever used for offensive missions. However, there have been reports that they have been used in several deliberate friendly fire incidents, which has led to many squaddies getting laid. This is because the overpowering odour of the deodorant temporarily knocks out any woman in the nearest 8 cubic metres.

Tank That Shoots Links

For all your princess saving needs. Also comes equipped with a mounted machinegun that shoots boomerangs and a grenade launcher that shoots fairies.

Tank That Shoots Swords

American M1 firing an Armour-Piercing, Discarding Sabot Katana (APDSK) round

After the initial development of guns that shoot swords, a need for heavy armoured support was discovered. The natural conclusion was a self-propelled vehicle which could cross trenches, crush barbed wire, and was impervious to machine-sword-gun fire.

A notable example is the Nazi German KlingeTiger which became infamous during World War II. Its ability to fire a massive 1.6m Zweihander double-handed sword proved far superior to the Light Rapiers of the M4 Sherman, and similar tanks.

Of course, do you really need to read this to know how awesome this is?

Gun that shoots tanks that fire chainsaws with knives for teeth

Imagine you and your enemy, standing face to face, guns in hands, ready to fire. Suddenly, you shoot a tank into the air that falls on your enemy and crushes him. You get inside the tank and back off of him and aim the turret right at him. You fire, and out comes a chainsaw with knives for teeth, and they finish him off. This is pretty hilarious to watch.

Gun that can wake you up, drive you to work/school, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, walk the dog, wash the dog, speak in 5,000,000 different languages, insult your enemies, travel through time, fly, swim, and burp

If only it were real...

Gun that Shoots Pancakes that Oscillate at the Frequency of the Hyperdimensional Resonator

All previous experimental weapons using pancakes as the primary projectile have usually been quite unreliable, mostly due to the aerodynamic nature (or lack thereof) of the pancake itself. The GTSPTOATFOTHDR, however, begins by rotating the pancakes at such a high revolution, that instead of being ripped apart by inertial forces, the pancake generates an induced gravitational field which holds itself together. Using a knocker developed in unknown labs of Siberia, deep beneath the surface of the earth, the pancake is "tapped" lightly as it leaves the barrel of the GTSPTOATFOTHDR, causing it to vibrate at the frequency of the well-known Hyperdimensional Resonator device, which will not kill, incapacitate, or (intentionally) injure the target, but merely send them to their exact position, at an unknown date or time in the past or future, on an alternate worldline... which probably sucks, unless in that worldline, the language AAAAAAAAA! does not exist.

Sword That Shoots Bullets

Researchers in the fictional Land of Square have finally developed the coolest possible sword. The gunblade consists of a long revolver with a keenly sharpened barrel edge. Now it's ok to bring a knife to a gunfight, since it's also a gun. This non-existent weapon naturally suggests the non-existence of...

Enormous Bomb Composed Entirely of Smaller Bombs (Which Are Themselves Composed of Smaller Bombs)

A huge bomb that, when it goes off, send tons of smaller bombs out in every direction. All of those bombs go off and send tons of even smaller bombs in every direction. This goes on for quite some time until the bombs are each a single atom of a radioactive element, and each of those bombs, which now basically cover the earth, all go off in nuclear explosions. Unfortunately, the entire earth is blown to bits in the process, so unless you are in outer space, this weapon is only useful for suicide bombers and Chuck Norris. (its called a cluster bomb,and it already exsists. it just not as devistating as the one described above, it still causes total carnage though, which is nice)

Gun That Shoots Kittens

Sounds rather idiotic to shoot a kitten at someone, right? That cute and cuddly thing in the barrel wouldn't harm a thing, right? Well, when you pull the trigger and the kitten erupts from the gun, that kitten is suddenly extremely pissed, and since that extremely angry kitten is heading directly towards an unsuspecting head... do the math. And remember. If the cat misses its target, you can always huff it.

Shuriken That Shoots Shurikens That Hide in the Shadows of the Previous Shuriken

Upon throwing the initial shuriken at the enemy, it immediately launches another shuriken that travels hidden by the shadow of the first shuriken. Only the awesomest of ninja can stop it.

Rocket Launcher That Shoots Michael Bays

A seemingly ordinary rocket launcher which, when fired shoots a pack of Michael Bays, which barrage your enemy with over-the-top special effects. Results may include but are not limited to: Boat chases, car chases, plane chases, train chases, flaming shopping cart chases, exploding buildings or over sized children's toys attacking the planet.

Gun That Fires A Bullet Being Ridden By Leslie Nielsen

The Nielsen bullet in action.

Quite popular in the 80's and 90's these very quickly became standard issue for the LAPD due to their effective combination of lead bullets and Leslie Nielsen. Their versatility as a weapon was questioned often by officers, but the gun manufacturer hit back by claiming: "It works like a real bullet, but has Leslie Nielsen on top. For the same price!". And so these guns were typecast in the same role for many years to come.

Gun that Shoots Spidermen that Shot Webs

It does what it says, nothing more.

Gun that Shot Webs

Shoot Webs at your target quicker by removing the middleman. This further theorizes the possibility of just Shotting Webs without the gun, although you would need to be Spiderman (or equivalent), for that to work.

Gun that shoots rabbid sharks with chainsaws for teeth and knives for fins that are on fire

The right weapon to use in a wrong situation...

gun that shoots gum

mmmmmmmmmm...spearmint.

Gun That Shoots Exploding Swiss Army Knives

It looks like a regular pistol, but your enemies will be totally awestruck when they find fragments of a tiny corkscrew embedded in their forehead.

Gun That Shoots Itself

A gun that when fired, travels back in time, lodges itself in its own barrel shooting itself with itself ,which in turn travels through time so that it shoots itself, where upon you have a gun that shoots itself, shoots itself shoots itself, which in turn travels through time so that it shoots itself, where upon you have a gun that shoots itself, shoots itself, shoots itself, shoots itself, which in turn travels through time so that it shoots itself, where upon you have a gun that shoots itself, shoots itself, shoots itself, shoots itself, shoots itself... Eventually the gun is moving at the speed of light and destroys the universe.

Gun That Shoots Itself, previous to time travel's discovery in 2569.

Gun That Removes Edit's in Pages

........................................

Gun that interrupts Anonymous Editors

Similar to the weapon above, howev

Bullet that Shoots Guns

The enemy will be completely confused to see you holding a bullet as your weapon. Imagine their surprise when they see a gun come out of it!

Gun that Shoots Bullets

Your opponent will be astonished when they find themselves actually being shot upon, especially when used in conjunction to the Bullet that Shoots Guns (see above).

It can work as a movable bullet dispenser, you can also pistol whip the people who say "need a dispenser here" a lot,

Improbability Gun

Derived from shotgun, this gun has a variable cartridge that can be loaded with confusing objects. These objects often include: notes with existential questions, malformed stockings, nice paintings of Hitler, bad paintings of Hitler, pieces of Nazi zombies, grenade safety pins, failed nuclear weapon blueprints, pre-asploded blackberries, human skulls, toenails, replicas of Hitler's mustache, huffed kittens, Justin Beiber's nose (ineffective on girls, Twilight fans, and gay guys under 16), Toshibas, mongooses, snakes, planes, planes with snakes on them, snakes with planes on them, mongooses with planes on them, blondes, dead batteries, bad foreign movies, inaccurate maps, Swedish blues band members photos, shopping lists, DVD re-winders, blinking green LED lights and emos, as well as relatively any other confusing objects.

Gun that shoots Beards

• Beards that, upon closer inspection, are actually made of guns, that fire beards which hold guns made of beards, which fire more beards holding guns. One is concealed behind Chuck Norris' beard. (Under careful revision considering that there is no recorded information about what is behind Chuck's beard)

Gun that shoots bears with saws

One of the more deadly guns. Use in the forest to catch some prey or cut down trees. Can also be used to get a hot date, or kill people. Great for slicing cheese.

A Sai that shoots out Black Hawk helicopters

A classic ninja weapon combining both stealth, easy access, and awesome high tech weaponry. (Note: Black Hawk down is not about the soft feathers of a Hawk that are black in colour. I know, I was disappointed too.)

Bazooka that shoots a fist

Punch your enemies in the face at 200 miles an hour. A prototype for a minigun version of this was constructed by the Japanese, but the project was abandoned after the only person trained to use it came down with a fatal case of katana through the skull. Sadly, the katana was not fired from a gunblade.

Bazooka that shoots an ethereal fist

Have fun pretending that you punched your enemies with a hypothetical fist. Psychological warfare.

Bazooka that shoots a Bazooka

Otherwise known as a bazooka launcher. This is not so much a weapon but a weapon dispenser. Invented during the Cellulite Wars. Due to the fact that the US Marine Corp's BMI level was somewhere in the region of -1921210381 they needed to launch their supplies and each other with various guns instead of walking.

Have fun with a Bazooka that shoots another Bazooka.

Machine Gun That Shoots Snakes

Can be used to send the enemy back several spaces. Very effective when used along with the Machine Gun That Shoots Ladders.

Machine Gun That Shoots Ladders

Can be used to reach high places in times of need. Very effective when used along with the Machine Gun That Shoots Snakes.

Machine Gun That Shoots Mongooses

Can be used for the annoying but frequent event of snakes on planes. Very effective against snakes on planes when used along with the Machine Gun That Shoots Samuel L. Jackson.

Machine Gun That Shoots Samuel L. Jacksons

Can be used for the annoying but frequent event of snakes on planes. Very effective against snakes on planes when used along with the Machine Gun That Shoots Mongooses.

Gun that shoots Flux Capacitors

This gun has the astounding ability to rip through time when fired from inside of a DeLorean. If fired too many times, the gunman, along with everyone in the nearby vicinity (about 1,274 miles), will be sent to the Dimension of Nothing, and it's really, really boring there. The only problem is that the gun must be fired in ideal conditions for the ammunition to reach a speed of 88 mph (the speed required to travel through time in a DeLorean), making it quite difficult to use.

Gun that shoots Stripes

When fired, this gun will shoot stripes that go on and on and on and on and on...eventually the stripes reach infinity and collide with each other around the other side of the universe. When fired horizontally, it also makes your opponent look fat.

Gun that shoots The White Stripes

It doesn't matter where they are, they come to you.

A gun that fires Dragons

This gun has the abilty to fire dragons at your enemy, just don't hope you're safe becuase that dragon will use you as a tooth pick after. Unless you have Saint George with you then you're good.

Chainsaw that shoots flaming kodiak bears

This bad boy is kinda self-explanitory. A must have for any guy who loves animals and hates homophobes.

gun that shoots a rabbid flying squirrel holding a piece of bread strapped with explosives that explodes monkeys

trust me, its totally devistating. imagine a rabbid flying squirrel screaming while holding a piece of bread strapped with explosives that explodes in your face... there's also a monkey.Be sure to clean of the blood if you are shot.He has aids.

A gun that fires bears

Similar to the aforementioned "Chainsaw that shoots flaming kodiak bears," this handgun fires live, angry bears at the target.

A gun that fires bears having sex

The logical result of a bear-firing weapons arms race, this gun fires two live bears per round. Bears which, at the time of firing, are copulating quite aggressively. The sound this gun makes while firing has been described as "MWRAAAAAAaaarr!!"

Battle Rifle That Shoots Out Komodo Dragons and a Megalania Lizard (30-Foot Komodo Dragon)

Very, VERY DEADLY!!!!

Gun that shoots invalid ref tags

This is pretty much useless except for sabotaging Uncyclopedia and tormenting your neighbors w--

Missile Silo that shoots Submarines with Laser Cannons

Your enemy will be too surprised to see flying submarines to realize that they have gatling laser cannons

Grenade launcher that fires the pins

A gun that shoots grenade pins when shot

Rifle that shoots Penis

Imagine the look on your enemy's face when you shoot them with a penis. They won't know what hit them. A smaller, less dangerous version of the Penis Rifle is also a great addition to massive orgies and bukkake parties.

Gun that shoots a door into any surface you fire it at

Fatal if you enter this door for it leads straight into an inescapeable cinema that plays the Final Fantasy Movie on a constant loop. And the cinema is populated by fat geeks that sit in puddles of their own drool, pleasuring themselves and talking about how hot the characters are.

Gun that Fires Bullets

Squeeze the trigger, and several pink slips fly from the barrel. Your enemy's ammunition has now been severely downsized. Not only is your enemy now effectively without ammo, but if he was someone who used boring normal bullets, you've just sent a lot of now unemployed lead to linger in his environment, poisoning all his friends too! Note: this is a single-shot weapon, as it fires ALL bullets. Including its own. Brown-nosing jerk. See if I help you on your next project.

See Also

• List of Weapons that can wipe out a wave of Stick figures
• List of weapons that exist, but shouldn't
• List of weapons that don't exist, and shouldn't
• List of weapons that don't exist, but should
• List of animals that don't exist, but should