User:SPIKE/All five leads

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Microsoft developing Windows for phone chips
Microsoft developing Windows for phone chips

(Gnome-speakernotes.png listen) LAS VEGAS, Nevada -- Microsoft is developing Windows for the chips in cell phones. To be determined: Whether the caller will press Ctrl-Alt-Del once or twice to recover from the Blue Screen of Death. Another company will make phones based on the PDP-8, whose 0.0012 GHz processor is so anemic that the four D cells may never need recharging. Full story»

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Bin Laden captured after checking-in on Foursquare
Bin Laden captured after checking-in on Foursquare

(Gnome-speakernotes.png listen) (VFH) PESHAWAR, Pakistan -- Al-Qaeda leader and amateur short filmmaker Osama bin Laden has been captured after "checking-in" to a social network. Foursquare gives special offers for members who alert others to their location, although paltry compared to the $25 million bounty on bin Laden's head. Full story»

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Jay Cutler ready to be sacked in playoffs
Jay Cutler ready to be sacked in playoffs

LAKE FOREST, Illinois -- This season is the first time the Chicago Bears quarterback will be able to be sacked in the playoffs. Three other key players also will be making their postseason debuts, while the experienced veterans can no longer remember how the playoffs function. Full story»

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Greeks can't afford interest payments, leave keys in letterbox
Greeks can't afford interest payments, leave keys in letterbox

(Gnome-speakernotes.png listen) ATHENS, Greece -- The Greeks are abandoning the country instead of making repayments after a back-of-the-envelope calculation showed them they owed more than it was worth. Said Alexandra Bouboulis, "I'm planning to leave the taps on to flood the place when I leave. The new owners can deal with it." Full story»

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World takes Axl Rose to court
World takes Axl Rose to court

PARADISE CITY, China -- A class-action law suit has been filed against Guns ’N Roses "front man" W. Axl Rose for being a conceited ginger twat and the biggest douche bag in the history of rock 'n' roll. The suit demands that he attend all his concerts and sing "like he actually means it." Full story»


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