User:SPIKE/All five leads
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Microsoft developing Windows for phone chips
( listen) LAS VEGAS, Nevada -- Microsoft is developing Windows for the chips in cell phones. To be determined: Whether the caller will press Ctrl-Alt-Del once or twice to recover from the Blue Screen of Death. Another company will make phones based on the PDP-8, whose 0.0012 GHz processor is so anemic that the four D cells may never need recharging. Full story» |
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- Prime Mini Star Rishi S. wants refugees to be eaten by wild gorillas
- Saw X still the only logical candidate for Best Picture
- SAG-AFTRA strike ends so that GOP candidates can act like clowns
- Scorsese discovers Britney Spears Email song
- UnNews explains new hashtag
- Michael Gambon reincarnated as Bonnie Wright's baby
- Gov picks non-resident senator, delays election, saves democracy
- Australia names Mike Gibbons as October's 'National Fart Month' 2023 Ambassador.
- Most everything that happened during Uncyclopedia writers strike
- Uncyclopedia writers end strike after 146 days
- U.S government confirms Kermit the Frog to be behind U.F.O hoax
- Blackdick removed from Saw X
- Bar fight breaks out at formal dinner party
- Alected update: Side A will be performed by the parodied artists
- Why haven't B-listers joined the SAG-AFTRA strike?
- Twitter bird has mortality problem
- Scab workers hired on to produce content for UnNews
- Pat Sajak retiring from Wheel of Fortune
- Vatican City coup: Cardinal strung up from Sistine Chapel "distraught but alive"
- Vladimir Putin assassinated by Carrie Mathison
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Bin Laden captured after checking-in on Foursquare
( listen) (VFH) PESHAWAR, Pakistan -- Al-Qaeda leader and amateur short filmmaker Osama bin Laden has been captured after "checking-in" to a social network. Foursquare gives special offers for members who alert others to their location, although paltry compared to the $25 million bounty on bin Laden's head. Full story» |
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Jay Cutler ready to be sacked in playoffs
LAKE FOREST, Illinois -- This season is the first time the Chicago Bears quarterback will be able to be sacked in the playoffs. Three other key players also will be making their postseason debuts, while the experienced veterans can no longer remember how the playoffs function. Full story» |
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Greeks can't afford interest payments, leave keys in letterbox
( listen) ATHENS, Greece -- The Greeks are abandoning the country instead of making repayments after a back-of-the-envelope calculation showed them they owed more than it was worth. Said Alexandra Bouboulis, "I'm planning to leave the taps on to flood the place when I leave. The new owners can deal with it." Full story» |
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World takes Axl Rose to court
PARADISE CITY, China -- A class-action law suit has been filed against Guns ’N Roses "front man" W. Axl Rose for being a conceited ginger twat and the biggest douche bag in the history of rock 'n' roll. The suit demands that he attend all his concerts and sing "like he actually means it." Full story» |
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