User:Maniac1075/Wrestlecrap.com

Two pieces of shit, going at it

WrestleCrap.com was invented in 2003 when "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Mick Foley left the "World Wrestling Entertainment" (WWE) company, and fans where baffled at what the hell this "crap" was they where viewing? An attempt to launch a rival company to the WWE emerged by the name of TNA, but fan's where still dumbfounded as to what the hell this hexagon shaped crap was on their televisions? Being that so many wrestling fans tuned-in to to see Stone Cold drink a fake can of beer before assaulting his boss, or Mick Foley break every bone in his body by jumping off things 5 foot higher then a normal wrestler would, fans where completely stumped at what it was they where left seeing happening on their beloved wrestling channels.

One fan finally worked it out, and figured, what people want to see isn't buffed up gym junkies with potential to go on a ramp-ed "roid rage" against their wife and kid that the fans would never see footage of, no all they needed was two pieces of crap, in a boxing ring, and a bit of a pre-match speech showing off who was the most brain-damaged wrestler doing a lot of grunting and taking a steel chair shot to the noggin to give the fans what they really wanted to see.

Crap Wrestling Begins

Captain Crap slams Slimy Shitty Steven to the mat

Now that the WCW had come to an end, the perfect time to display "crap" wrestling was now, when site owners Turd Turner and Vince CrapMan (Might be his birth name, could have changed it later in life legally to this, we dunno) founded the online website where you could watch two pieces of crap going head to head in an explosive array of shithouse wrestling.

The idea behind the venture was to get as many shitty wrestlers as they could, and put on a show that was one step above backyard wrestling talent, but show a bit better shit on their weekly broadcast then the WCW ever did. Finding such shitty talent was no problem, as only a handful of WCW wrestlers where now picked up by the WWE; so all these two guys had to do was put an advert online, advertising that they needed wrestlers, for their show. The genius behind this kind of advertisement, was that if any wrestler had any talent at all, they would already be in the WWE, and the rejected by WWE guys who couldn't cut it in the WWE and are pissed about it, are in TNA. So now these guys had what was left, the Creme Del La Crap, and soon had a few hundred shitty wrestlers no one had ever heard of, wanting to wrestle for them, and show the world just how crappy a wrestler they really where.

Even a few famous names of the past showed up for auditions, such as The Road Dog, Gobbledegooker, Aysa, The Giant Gonzales and Hulk Hogan.. but none got a permanent position as they where already established as "crap" wrestlers, and it wouldn't be fair on the rising crap superstars of the modern day era, keen, ready & looking to seal themselves with no future in the wrestling business.

First Show Goes Down The Drain

Vince & Ted where now ready to broadcast their first web-cast of "WrestleCrap". The show went off without a hitch, and found itself a moderate audience. Booked for the launching show was 16 of the crappiest wrestlers you had ever seen. And with delight, the first match went underway between "The Turd Burglar" & "Crap-a-Saurous Rex" which lasted a full 6 mins before the match was declared too crap to pay attention to anymore. Next up was "Fecal Freddy" vs. "Shit Pickle" who displayed quite a bit of wall to wall excitement until Shitpickle was thrown up against a wall and stuck to it long enough to get counted out. Next saw the tag team duo's of "Rove McAnus" & "Crappapotamous" vs "The Stinky Twinks" which was just a god awful match that was the biggest piece of shit on the entire card. At least the next 2 on 1 match of the brothers "Squat & Gobble" showed some pretty awesome high-flying shit on their opponent "Hacksaw Jim Duggan". And finally the main event to determine a crap champion went to former WCW champion, Goldturd, after he hit a "crapjammer" into the ass of "The Shitman, Bret Fart".

So Shit It Has Survived All These Years

It's a turd? It's a Plane? No, I think it's a bag of shit, it's what all the Wrestlecrap superstars compete for!

The following shows did go on to get a little bit better, with every push and squeeze the site received in PayPal donations, they raised the money needed to buy a decent Windows movie making program that had better effects then Windows Movie Maker. This gave some really shitty effects to the shitty wrestling a boost and managed to find itself an audience. Today there is 12 viewers who tune into watch the weekly broadcast of Wrestlecrap. That is 3 more viewers then any backyard wrestling video on youtube gets that is visited by someone other then a friend of the up-loader, or has an IQ that's digits equal the same digit amount of there penile length.

The Crapionshit belt trophy award

Being that Wrestlecrap is a cheap-ass independent wrestling company, they spend all their profits on maintaining the website to broadcast on. Unlike any other wrestling company, the Wrestlecrap champions receive what originally was just a styrofoam coffee cup. The first champion took a dump in the cup, and it has become tradition for each new champion to add his own contribution to the award, which gives the title a sense of history and respect.

WrestleCrap's cASSt of former Crapionshit Winners

Note: Wrestlecrap is too cheap and shit to have any other divisions to compete in besides the crapionshit trophy)

• Goldturd (5)
• Bret "Shitman" Hart (5)
• Shit Foley (4)
• Rove McAnus (1)
• Squat & Gobble ("The Turdlings") (1)
• Caka Top (1)
• D.J Poohman (-3)
• Triple-Turd (1.4)
• Captain Crap(1)
• Shithead McFuck(1 but it was reversed)
• Hulk Hogan (0, but he should be 125 by now)