The writer of this article has become hopelessly, helplessly stuck.
“ This person seems rather horrible.”
Hey. I can see that you, <insert name here>, just stumbled upon my little shithole. I wonder what you are doing here. If you are trying to find a link to porn, you're at the wrong place. If you are looking for me on discord, you're on the wrong website. Too drunk to find home? I think you might be looking for this place. Looking for Wikipedia? Well, this is Uncyclopedia, the website that Wikipedia parodies. Looking for the Wikia version of Uncyclopedia? Too bad, you're at the wrong place, plus, they have shut down recently (UnNews article here).
You are not entitled to view results of this poll before you have voted.
I live in Beloeil, Canada, and I was born to someone, probably not Oscar Wilde. I discovered Uncyclopedia back when Barack Obama was Supreme Leader of the United States. Apart from that, you need to know that I tend to procrastinate way too much, and when I don't, I tend to just read things such as "this" too much.
Here's a few points you should know about me:
- I live in a country where weed is legal. No need to contact a dealer!
- I sleep way too much. This is understandable because I spend all my time doing nothing.
- I edit under the names "kevindong" and "kev".
- I personally dislike vandalism in most situations.
- I am typically too lazy to edit anything other than my user page.
- I tend to always give off bad vibes to other users of Uncyclopedia.
- I have an IP address, however, said IP address is not 18.104.22.168.
- I am very retarded.
- I sometimes want to die.
I don't have any images of myself, so here is a license to copy whatever image you find on this page that is not in an infobox.
DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE Version 2, December 2004 Copydown (C) 2004 Nobody cares <AAAAAA@example.com> Everyone is permitted to copy and distribute verbatim or modified copies of this license document, and changing it is allowed as long as the name is changed. DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION 0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.
- I am not stupid, despite it being not apparent.
- Pikachu is better than Sonic. If you are thinking the contrary, that is an ironic lie.
- Please use the user talk page for User:Kevindong, and not the user talk for subpages of User:Kevindong.
- This page may look broken if you are not using skin "Vector". This page does not work on skins "Monobook" and "Modern". This page works, but will not render correctly or as intended on "Cologne Blue", "Grey Stuff", and "Timeless" skins.
- Here's a shortlink to my user page: 
- Here's a longer link to my user page: Click here
In other languages (Babel)
- Go to Pornhub, duh
- Link is on the sidebar at your left
- This website is "en.uncyclopedia.co"
- Actually, you would better off calling for a taxi...
- Click here
- Wikia bad. Fandom bad.
- Which is nice
- May 2019
- This might change anytime.
- Actually, I am certain I was not born to Oscar Wilde, because only women can give birth to children.
- Better than Trump
- North Korea perhaps?
- Alternatively, McDonaldland
- I sleep at 2 and wake up at 2.
- I'm too unoriginal to find anything better.
- Seriously, sleep is important for your own health.
- QVFD exists for a reason
- 22.214.171.124 is the anonymous author of the article Fisher Price, one of the rare actual "good" articles on Uncyclopedia.
- Whether this is a lie or sincere is to be determined yourself.
- Then why would User:Kevindong place so many references??
- Accordingly to their respective movies, Detective Pikachu and Sonic the Hedgehog
- No longer necessary, since this page now forces you to use Vector.