User:Kev/100 reasons to ban Aimsplode
|Aimsplode is permanently banned from Uncyclopedia for pedophilia, effective October 2nd, 2019.|
Well, you see, Aimsplode is bad. And it’s a whole ‘nother level of bad. In fact, if I described exactly why then I’d get really old.
101 - 100
101. (I'll add this later18:57, 30 July 2019 (UTC))
100. Because this article has more than 100 reasons.
99 - 90
99. Aimsplode is not His Holiness; he's His Assholiness.
98. Aimsplode really wants to be a meme
90. Aimsplode claimed that I do not suck.
89 - 80
89. Aimsplode threatens to ban me unless I join his weekly psychotherapy. (see image)
88. Once when I was passed out a party, Aimsplode wrote the 14 words on my penis. I tried my very best to get it out, but I couldn't. So, I did the only rational thing and got a circumcision. However, I was too embarrassed to see a doctor, and seeing a mohel was definitely out of the question, so I did it myself with a three-ring binder, a giant pair of scissors and lots of homemade wine for anaesthetic. It took bloody forever to heal, and the whole time this happened, my roommate's ridiculously hot cousin was in town and she kept wanting me to give it up, but I was in too much pain. Fuck my life and fuck Aimsplode.
87. Aimsplode exploded all over my sisters face that night
86. Aimsplode once tried to teleport by flushing himself down the toilet.
85. Aimsplode mailed concentration camp footage to America's Funniest Home Videos.
84. Aimsplode's choda is more dainty and clean than mine is.
83. He secretly reads this entire list every day, which makes him a total fag who should be banned
82. Aimsplode is a bleeding fat waifu. I suggest him to crawl into a toilet hole instead.
81. Aimsplode played over my Red Dead Redemption save game
80. Aimsplode is an authoritarian Nazi and Hooman wants to kill him.
79 - 70
78. Aimsplode cheats in every game he plays.
77. Aimsplode lost his left middle finger after an unfortunate ice fishing accident. It's just too gross looking at him.
76. Aimsplode welcomes banned spammers to the site because he wants them to contribute more spam.
75. Aimsplode blocked me 79 times. So far.
74. Aimsplode loves games and waifus more than Uncyclopedia.
73. Aimsplode is 73 years old.
72. Aimsplode is illegal.
71. Aimsplode hasn't done a single f**king thing on uncyclopedia for months
70. Aimsplode threatens to sue anyone who posts reason to ban him.
69 - 60
69. Aimsplode doesn't put in his equal share of work during 69ing sessions with my wife.
68. I've been lusting after Aimsplode's sweet hot ass for years and his silence is clearly rejection. If I can't have sweet Aimsplode ass then no one can...only a ban can ensure that.
66. Aimsplode executed Order 66.
65. Banning Aimsplode has TONS of benefits, but I can’t list them here because then the article would be 12,385,459 bytes long.
64. Aimsplode makes me insomniac.
63. His penis smells like a rotten pure of anchovies and maggot paste fermented in a wet tire in the desert for a decade
62. Aimsplode ate my Hagendas
61. Aimsplode plugged up my toilet
60. Aimsplode refuses to pay for my copy of Minecraft.
59 - 50
59. Aimsplode is an infiltration unit: part man, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyperalloy combat chassis, microprocessor-controlled. Fully armored; very tough. But outside, it's living human tissue: flesh, skin, hair, blood. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever.
58. Aimsplode is AAAAAAAAAA addicted.’’’
57. Aimsplode refuses to cure Uncyclopedians of their not-gaming disorder.
56. Aimsplode ran over my cat!
55. Aimsplode got snapped by Thanos. (picture to be added)
54. Aimsplode is literally Hitler.
53. Aimsplode did 9/11.
52. Aimsplode took the cookies from the cookie jar.
51. Aimsplode won't give me a blowjob.
50. There's no Aimsplode now. He's been reduced to AAAAAAAAAAA already.
49 - 40
49. Aimsplode was the last person seen with Natalee Holloway prior to her disappearance.
48. Aimsplode loved flirtatiously exhibitionistic waifus so that APA invented paraphilia and histrionic personality disorder.
47. All saboteurs of the site vote for banning Aimsplode .
46. Aimsplode deletes stuff I say on Uncyclopedia's Discord Server.
45. Aimsplode can’t cure my depression.
44. Aimsplode can't cure the common cold.
43. Aimsplode can't cure cancer.
42. Aimsplode can't solve the answer to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
41. Aimsplode constantly complains about how the person who first created this article (User:Kev) has mental problems. But fails to narrow it to a particular one.
40. Aimsplode a splode.
39 - 30
39. Aimsplode has an anime profile picture on Discord. (see image)
38. Aimsplode ate the last biscuit.
37. Aimsplode. No explaination needed.
36. Aimsplode isn’t be is good.
35. I once jumped out of a window. This was entirely Aimsplode’s fault.
33. This article is unironically One of Aimsplode’s favorite articles on Bumcyclopedia.
32. Aimsplode is bad.
31. I can’t really think of a reason to put here. Your still bad Aimsplode.
30. Aimsplode is badder.
29 - 20
28. Aimsplode continuously complains about the fact that I have zero sense of humor.
27. Aimsplode keeps reverting my edits anyways. This one will probably disappear at this rate.
26. Aimsplode huffed this article once already.
25. Aimsplode prefers luxurious toilet paper.
24. Aimsplode supposedly has a picture of Alex Jones hanging above his bed. (see image)
21. Aimsplode once nuked me with The ChairTM
20. Aimsplode is a developer.
19 - 10
19. Banning Aimsplode is funny but not stupid, as he doesn't emit moron.
18. Cos Dr Lecter wants to have him banned.
17. He adds APEX to his coffee.
16. He ate his mouse with some fava beans.
15. Portal isn't even a fun game. Get over yourself.
14. Seriously, Valve is done with that series.
13. Aimsplode removed reason #13 from this list, in what appears to be a manifestation of severe triskaidekaphobia.
12. "I will cherish this forever" - Aimsplode (see image)
11. Aimsplode constantly threatens to ban me.
10. Aimsplode is __________(a psychiatrist who refuses to give me a free section, etc.)
9 - 1
9. Aimsplode banned my sockpuppet(s).
8. Aimsplode has the coolest signature here, which is totally unfair.
7. Aimsplode keeps banning everyone who disagrees with their opinion.
6. Being the most active crat here, doing all the reverts and all.
4. Aimsplode once tried to convince me that he had already contacted Lyrithya, saying that she is fixing the website despite that being an Captain Obvious lie. Later, he couldn't even explain it, and told me to add this to the list.
1. Because he deserves it.
0. Aimsplode is a pedophile: "Aimsplode was banned from the wiki and the Discord this afternoon after it came to light that he had been using our community to attempt to lure underage girls to his home." - (Zombiebaron)
Aimsplode loves narcissism and hates normality. Therefore he’s on an exile.
More than likely, you were banned because you failed to read or understand The Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian, How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, and/or Our Vanity Policy. If this is the case, or even if it's not, take some time to read these documents now.
After you've taken the time to read the above articles and you feel like you are ready to make useful contributions to Uncyclopedia, you may contact $1 or one (1) of the other administrators to discuss the block. If you are just an enthusiast marketing specialist, blanker, or vandal, it will probably give them a good laugh.
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It might be possible to plead your case on your talk page, over IRC, or on our if you didn't do anything really wrong, or if you can prove that you have fully educated yourself by reading the above articles. Log into the Uncyclopedia channel with the same username you use here, and start begging. Bring flowers, a positive attitude, and a cheery hello. None of those will help, but occasionally admins take pity on banees. (Often just before they get fired for being softies.)
- The Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian
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- Our Vanity Policy
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