UnNews:YouTube is removing dislikes

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Thursday, April 1, 2021

Under this new system, there is no way to know that a video (like that one) sucks cock!

SILLY CON VALLEY -- YouTube has announced that is is considering hiding dislikes from videos in order to discourage hate sprees on targeted users. We're looking it you, Jake and Logan Paul; PewDiePie; Penguinz0; Jenny Nicholson; Lindsay Ellis; Jreg; and that boomer guy in Colorado who won't shut up about Hi-fi and hawking his expensive products.

No, this is not an April Fools Day joke, because we know they are always incredibly stupid, like those idiots who put stupid pages for deletion on Uncyclopedia, and even Wikipedia's stupid nominations, but this is actually 100% real breaking news.

YouTube has done many stupid things. From making it so you can't see exact sub counts, to hiding upload dates, to temporarily taking down CraigTube and Vinyl TV, to copyright-blocking everything like they're Viacom or Disney, to making it harder to get verified. Don't get me started on Rickrolling. Now they are removing dislikes. You won't be able to see how YouTube Rewind sucks. Ugh, that 2018 one was horrible. [Eh, it's not that bad. -Ed]

So what does this mean? A few things. You, <insert name here>, [Me? -Ed] will not be able to find any sucky videos. You will see that the above video has 2.9 million likes, and think "ooh, good video". Well your (sic) an idiot, but you won't have the information to know that. Which is a problem, and will lead to videos receiving more videos (sic), and people wasting there (sic) time on sucky videos. Now I guess we're all stuck with that Disney impressions guy, that Google Translate girl, that Jamel guy who reacts to classic music, and... you know, maybe those vinyl and hi-fi guys aren't so bad. And maybe I can spend $45,000 on his phono preamp.

So, TLDR, prepare to stay up till 1am trying to find a good video now.

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