UnNews:Wikinews admits defeat, proceeds to shut down

The mood at UnNews HQ upon the announcement.

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

WINNERS CIRCLE, VICTORYTOWN - We just got word from the internet that our mortal enemy Wikimedia is shutting down Wikinews after two decades. Wikimedia says that it has not lived up to their expectations and that not many people read it but we believe they're just jealous over the fact that UnNews is superior in every form to Wikinews. Just think about it, which news platform allows anybody to report the news, even if it's bullshit? That's right! It's us.

While Wikinews requires citations and "reliable sources", all we require is if you can write well and because of our lax requirements, we have not only more articles than Wikinews but we've also outlasted them by two decades!

UnNews, upon hearing the news, proceeded to throw a lavish party with blackjack and hookers as well as hiring a dope ass DJ who proceeded to play music that we have hand selected for the occasion which can be found below.

1. Kool and the Gang - Celebration
2. Steam - Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye
3. DJ Khaled - All I Do is Win
4. Queen - We Are the Champions
5. Ray Charles - Hit the Road Jack
6. Sir Mix-a-Lot - Baby Got Back
7. Frank Sinatra - Here's to the Losers
8. Shampoo - Trouble
9. Britney Spears - Stronger
10. Tatu - All the Things She Said

There were more songs but those were the most notable winner songs in history.

While it is sad that Wikinews is going away; we at UnNews would like to say...

"Sayonara Wikinews you pathetic losers! You could never match up to our greatness! Not only have we reported the news but we also make news. Your reliable sources and citations make you weak, in fact it is cause of that that you have failed! In fact you failed so much that you have to shut down cause nobody liked your ass to begin with. You were Buzz Killington when compared to us, like who wants to read some boring ass news? UnNews is not only more exciting, we have also outlasted you losers! UnNews is going to be around forever baby! Just you watch!"

At press time. Wikimedia were too scared and cowardly to leave a response due to us being awesome as fuck. UnNews proceeded to piss on the grave of Wikinews and mock Jimbo Wales excessively over their massive Wikinews failure.

Sources

• Enrico Giardina "Wikimedia Foundation is shutting down news project Wikinews" Heise, April 8, 2026