UnNews:The Lion King Banned in Levonia

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To the Japanese, Levonia is a complex, enigmatic country 26 Kilometers off of the coast to the Japan. To the Levonese, Japan is a complex, enigmatic country 26 Kilometers off the coast of Levonia. But while Japan accepts 'The Lion King', Levonia does not for in Levonia, 'The Lion King' has been banned. "Why?" you may ask-for a mockery of one of the Levonia zodiac signs; the happy 'Hyaena'.

"Disney has grossly exaggerated the Hyena's features as well as referred to Hyaena as being "Ugly and stupid-and laughing too much." stated Harry Hiney, Chief Communications Officer for the Kingdom of Levonia, adding "We are banning that which is a mockery of our God’s creation. To we the Levonians, we take this as a hostile manifestion of speciesm." "And stop giggling at my name! I LIKE my name and I can hear you giggling!! Stop! I mean it!".

The Levonian zodiac signs are, in order:

This ban was put in place by Queen Houou Tsedef (珠珍 凰鳳) and won’t be repealed "anytime soon unless the movie is redone by Disney-and I get a brand new yacht with a helicopter pad and one of those brick pizza ovens." This, following China banning Peppa Pig and Taiwan banning Winnie the Pooh.


Everyone in Levonia is half Asian half Jewish, the new Kaifeng. Ironically, most of the population isn’t circumcised, only the rabbis are.


The queen is a madam living with several Vietnamese men her age that she fucks every night.


One of the guys is a watersports champion, but not in the way you think. Another one is subordinate and is the favourite, the others become jealous.

After banning the Lion King, Disney sent out a nasty letter full of new slurs for the Levonese. The Levonese didn’t take this too kindly, they stole a nuke from North Korea and fired it straight into Disney headquarters, killing the frozen Walt Disney himself along with other deserving people. So much for rewriting the Lion king, as there were no survivors. All that was left in the rubble was a Simba taxidermy, which Houou tore the baculum from, and wore it as a charm of war.


as (國月) or (ナヂ㐅 ネンヺレ) is a country off the coast of Japan. Their language is a mix between Hebrew, Japanese and some Yiddish, hence the reason they write right to left instead of left to right. It is a fairly new country, founded in 2018. They are always attacked by the mainland, just ‘cuz they don’t like ‘em.