UnNews:Starmer to ban UnNews

"I'm wearing a hoodie. Ain't I relatable? Six seven! Please don't replace me with Andy."

Sunday, June 21, 2026

UNITED KINGDOM — Having already appeared in a YouTube announcement (pictured) regarding the execution of a social media ban on under-16s (by means of coercing every website on the internet to implement mandatory age verification), British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is currently considering coercing every website on the internet to prioritise state-funded BBC content over what the Labour Party dubs "disinformation" once his plan to render VPNs illegal is set in stone. All of that for as long as he remains in office, that is.

All of the trustworthy, reliable information with which we furnish our British readers here at UnNews (whose facial features the government has stored safe and sound — and most certainly will not use for AI training — on high-performance file systems in 10 Downing Street, right next to the emergency supply of red wine) will be outlawed in due course. In its place, Whitehall will equip our tea-drinking audiences with even more trustworthy, reliable information. That is, information we know is already definitely more trustworthy and reliable because it is paid for by their own taxes and fronted by presenters with soothing voices and impeccable BBC credentials.

EastEnders shall be the only sitcom every British reader who frequents this website will be allowed to consume. Pointless shall remain the only game show permitted. Other Ofcom-approved viewing will include the Doctor Who revival, The Great British Bake Off, and Antiques Roadshow. And the British population will be bloody chuffed about the amount of choice they have.

Sources

• Dominic Penna "Starmer to force social media giants to prioritise BBC and other public service content" The Telegraph, June 20, 2026