UnNews:Great Plains and Rocky Mountains freeze their ass off

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12 February 2021
WARNING: THIS PAGE IS NOT FUNNY. IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A FUNNY PAGE, TOUGH LUCK.

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Great Plains and Rocky Mountains freeze their ass off. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

Temperatures certainly vary tonight, but the Rocky Mountains and Great Plains are freezing their ass off.

Temperature map from the West Coast to Ohio showing frigid conditions, at 01:30 UTC February 12(so, 5:30-8:30 PM local time)

Guess I didn't show you to the north. Trust me on the following. Great Falls is -17°F, Billings is -13°, and Fargo in Fake Dakota is -10°F. It is COLD! Here as a map of the Southern USA. Make up your mind. You probably don't wanna live here in the winter

It's warmer down there. Except in Kansas, Oklahoma, and northern Texas. Texas is weird. Again, taken around 01:30. Find out the local time yourself.

Appalachians make it warm. It's so freaking cold yet warm. Tornadoes! Yeap, because unfortunately there has to be a steep gradient. Pressure differences. High winds. Thunderstorms. Tornadoes.

Here is the east.

As you can see, temperatures vary widely. Take my word for it; eastern LI is ~28°F, NYC is 31°F, yet Albany is 19°F, parts of NY are 11°F. Buffalo is 18°F, Jamestown is 16°F, yet Erie is.....20°F?? This makes no fucking sense! Ok, lets sort this all out. Near Canada, near 45°, it gets to near 0°F. NYC is 30°F.

Freezing cold states[edit]

  1. Montana
  2. Wyoming(but some people may be in the less cold states)
  3. Northeastern Colorado
  4. The Dakotas
  5. Nebraska
  6. Minnesota
  7. Iowa
  8. Northern New York
  9. Vermont
  10. New Hampshire
  11. Maine

HOT states[edit]

  1. Florida(cause of course it is)
  2. Georgia,the new Democratic state!
  3. South Carolina
  4. Parts of Alabama
  5. California and Arizona but only partly(they are also pretty sexy down there)

Everyone else is in between

Texas is screwed[edit]

With El Paso close to 62°F, but Arlington at 27°F, I can easily see a tornado. And it may be in a big city. Uh oh. Texans better prepare their anuses before Dallas gets an EF3.