UnNews:East Coast warms up but does not realize cold air is gonna come...

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Wednesday, March 3, 2021

UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews Weather Service, your source for up-to-the-minute (brain) fog.
Spring is coming, weather you like it or not. Fuck you Southern Hemisphere!

Wow is it warm! Around 51°F around all of Long Island. Nearly all of New York, in fact, is above freezing. The US's plan of pumping heat from Africa worked. Holy fuck! (Or at least most, someone opened up a freezer in the northeast part of the state). Much of northern New England is also above freezing, as is much of Canada. It is 51°F in Detroit. Wow. And when was the last time New Hampshire got to 40°F in early March? Chicago is also 47°F, but history is being made elsewhere in the nation. That being, it's not that warm on the West Coast. I mean, LA is only 56°F.

I mean, Montana and Ice Dakota both rise above 60°F. However, this is because for revenge for voting for Donald Trump, Joe Biden set up a desert across these states to make it scorching during the day, [1]but they are already working to remove the sand.

However, there is a dark secret that they do not know...yet. It's gonna get cooler.

It is already 21°F in parts of Michigan, near ish to the end of US 41. Many places are cooling off dramatically Sure, Denver may be 62°F(which is more common then we thought), but cooler air is overtaking us. How?

Someone opened up a freezer in Wabush, just east of Québec.Cold air immediately released, cooling them off to 0°F. And it's spreading, because someone is operating a fan in Albany. Cold air will be able to slip in, and will, and will circulate around.

Oh no! Will it get as bad as mid-February[edit]

No. See that time, the jet stream just, let cold air in. Also, a much bigger freezer was opened that time. Also, you little corrupted children don't know the full extent of the story. It was most of the time above 15°F, but just that ERCOT shit the bed. And also that there was no power, and also that Ted Cruz went to Cancun. Therefore, your power most likely will not go out. Also, what part of the EAST COAST do you not understand? You are nowhere fuckin near the Atlantic(unless you count the Gulf of Mexico). I am confident it won't extend much past Interstate 65. Its the New England cold wave after all. There was flooding in the Southern United States, like Kentucky, but not snow. No, fuck off annoying children.

Who will be next after Ted Cruz?[edit]

Fucking no one, can you stop already? Ted Cruz is a basterd jerk and also Texas was in more of a warzone then even 2017. Bruh. This is gonna be temps getting as low as maybe around twenty. Shut up, Chuck Schumer is not gonna leave you. Albeit his anus would be plummeted; at least Cruz has till '24 to build up his reputation, Schumer runs in 21 months. He is also majority leader. Then again, Texas is much more in the middle then New York. Can you please stop whining?

  1. Which is ironic, as Montana has a democratic senator! Otherwise the republicans would control the senate.