UnBooks:Shakesbeer

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Once upon a timeth, William Shakespeare wenteth to his local brew'ry to tryeth beer f'r the v'ry first timeth. That gent hath paid liketh 1p f'r the beer because of wage inflation even but now. On his first dose of the beer, that gent did get hook'd to t. That gent did drink 15 units. The next day, that gent wast so malt-worm, t tooketh that gent 20 minutes f'r that gent to walketh to w'rk, despite w'rk being extremely closeth to his house.

Shakesbeer.png

Shakespeare madeth a script yond we knoweth not the nameth of because that gent's so malt-worm yond that gent can't writeth coh'rent lett'rs anym're. Th're w're quill marks all ov'r the table, all ov'r the flo'r, and all ov'r the walls. Shakespeare hath called the script a weird and wond'rful w'rk of art.

The r'd line is Shakespeare's trail.

At which hour that gent p'rf'rm'd t at the Globe Theatre, Shakespeare hath lost his popularity drastically. The biggest complaint wast yond that wasn't how people naturally known Shakespeare as.

Shakespeare's new playeth looks liketh this.

Shakespeare, this is an int'rvention; thee needeth to stand ho drinking. Thee've hath lost thy popularity. Shakespeare did quit his habit of drinking. And wenteth backeth to coh'rent lett'rs. Unf'rtunately, v'ry few people cameth to his plays by this pointeth did compare to the past, because of the gibb'rish incident. And because th're w're nay newspap'rs at the timeth to sayeth "Shakespeare isn't gibb'rish anym're!", shakespeare hast effectively did destroy his career.

the endeth