Portal:Analog
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Analog portal Please keep the anal log jokes to a minimum.
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Research (How it Works)
Scientists studied this phenomenon very closely for long periods of time and were unable to observe any type of quantum entanglement/vortex formation. Since lab tests continued to yield unsuccessful results they decided to create the laundromat where many dryers were clumped together alongside washers in the hopes that some type of quantum phenomena would take place. It is there that they learned that for a wormhole to form and for quantum entanglement to occur, the objects placed inside the dryer must first be de-atomized by a washing machine. (more...)
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Featured Object
A typical cookie clicker has a long lever which is used to push a bladed cylinder, the clicker, straight through cookies up to 1/2 an inch in thickness, and then through a close-fitting hole in the die. As the vertical travel distance of the cylinder is less than an inch, it can be positioned within about 1.2 inches of the lever fulcrum. For smaller cookie clickers, meant to slice through thinner, Subway-style cookies, the resulting lever need not be more than 3 inches for sufficient force.
The clicker's diameter generally varies between each clicker; a hole size of 1/4 inch allows for a a donut-shaped 3/4-to-1 inch cookie, whilst a 1/2 inch hole is generally favored for medium-sized cookies. Occasionally, a 1-inch hole is used for larger cookies and other foodstuffs (such as steak). (more...)
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Junkyard Referendum
- Van Morrison
- IPod Car
- Water powered bus
- Ice cream truck
- Lawnmower-Humvee
- Body-copter
- KrAZ
- Bicycle
- Motorbikes
- Invisible Fighter
- UnNews:Reusable car bomb invented in Pakistan
- Bat Fuck Moped
- Lazaderra quattro MerdaCalda GT speciale
- Baby's First Monster Truck
- All-terrain vehicle
- Ambulance
- Subaru
- Lada
- Race car
- Mazda Miata
- UnNews:Auto Industry To Receive Massive Bailout
- Lincoln Town Car
- UnNews:Toyota releases new hybrid: part car, part deathtrap
- UnNews:Rival drivers killed after accident involving chicken; winner undetermined
- Used car
- Sport utility vehicle
- How Cars Work
- Mini
- Blinker fluid
- HowTo:Avoid speeding tickets/fines
- Chrysler Reliant
- Audi S4
- Monster truck
- Ford Model T
- Templating/104
Analog News
EDDY'S HOUSE, Next to the White Castle -- Eddy and all his friends threw a totally sweet party at his residence Friday night while their loser friends attended Comic Con. Eddy and company purposely scheduled the party so as not to feel awkward leaving them out. Mandy was there, and Steve brought all the liquor. Everyone expressed total relief that Jimmy and all the guys who play D&D were too busy dressing up as Stormtroopers to show up since they always cause all these awkward silences and it really sucks when they get drunk because they're so annoying.
According to sources close to Eddy, Jimmy announced he would attend Comic Con some time in early March this year. Since the announcement, Eddy's compatriots have allegedly been planning the party to end all parties in secrecy, revealing plans only to close friends and guys they knew who were great when they come to these kinds of things. Plans were nearly compromised mid-June when Jimmy's brother Alex saw Steve making a list of people to invite. The immediate cover of a surprise birthday party for a college friend was deployed. The party committee has since operated in top secrecy, ending contact with all non-essential acquaintances. (more...)
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As the elevator gradually falls to the first floor, your nostrils are filled with the scent of paper, fresh off the copy machine, as well as the strange scent of dry-roasted nuts. "Must be John with his can of cashews again," you think to yourself. "That guy is going to end up in the hospital with some sort of rare nut-related disease." (more...)
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