A rare Red-Breasted Wardrobe, thought to be extinct.
is a horrible creature of yore known for inhabiting the attics of old professors' homes and eating small children. Wardrobes cause those in and around them to believe they are in a fantastic land fraught with magical peril, an effect theorized to be caused by the mushrooms that grow deep within the wardrobe's usually musty body cavity.
From the Beginning
In the early 16th century, adventurer Parco Molo set out on an epic quest to find, name, and subsequently kill every species of animal in the world. But he never expected to encounter such a terrible monster as the wardrobe. Wardrobes, of course, have existed long before man - possibly even before time. The local tribesmen of the Commonwealth of England had told Molo of such a creature they called "The Royal Wardrobe," or "Great Wardrobe." At the time, Parco dismissed the thought of a seven-story high behemoth that consumed mass amounts of orphans as a mere legend, but it was not. (This massive wardrobe was also used as a storehouse for royal accouterments, housing arms and clothing - among other personal items of the Crown.) (more...)
A cheap merkin, such as a prostitute might wear.
is a pubic wig
. According to the Oxford English Dictionary
(OED), which is an authority concerning such matters, prostitutes
once wore merkins to disguise the fact that they had syphilis. Etymologically, the word is believed to be derived from malkin
, meaning "mop." Not only did this hairpiece do duty as a pubic wig, but the merkin, apparently, was used to mop floors (or, possibly, just to "mop up" after sex
). Not to be outdone by the fair sex, men also occasionally wear merkins, and some even enjoy flashing their faux minges at unsuspecting passersby…
Like other hairstyles, those involving the merkin indicate gender, fashion trends, social status, ethnic identity, and relative psychological stability (or, as the case may be, instability). Some merkin wearers match the style of their pubic wig to that of their hairstyle; others enjoy a stark contrast between the two, wearing their hair, for example, in a traditional style, such as a pageboy, while dying their merkin neon orange and wearing it in a Mohawk or in cornrows or dreadlocks… (more...)