Piece of Shit Car
The infamous piece of shit car is an anomaly that belongs to a multitude of crappy metal and plastic infused with engines that operate on greasy substances and explosive potential. There are a fleet of them. The term piece of shit car is a combination of Shit and Fuck All. Millions of people have pieces of shit cars. Adam Sandler, a world famous star, has lamented about his piece of shit car. He wasn't the only one. There are literally dozens of artists and actors who have brought attention to this auto atrocity that has plagued the planet with its existence.
It has no reason to exist. It is a downgrade from the past when Atlantis was a thriving city of flying vehicles and interplanetary travel. The Shitlords who unleashed this ugly beast upon the population of all the world even brought in the idea of the prehistoric past to sell the disabling and soul-crushing idea that we are all living in the Stone Age and must drag up Fossil fuel from Dinosaurs that were conveniently placed in the Middle East and Texas when an imaginary bombardment of meteors pelted the world and then oozed with parasites that became an Invasive Species of pods and reptilians.
With the introduction of this Evil Thingy a small, micro group of shriveled prunes who called themselves elite raped the earth of natural resources and built a money laundering empire with the help of a psychopath who called himself Ford Ranger. They devised a way to rob the poor and charge them taxes to build and repair archaic roads only to collect money and leave all the roads in the same condition as if a real meteor crashed into the earth and destroyed everything.
Adam Tells His Story[edit | edit source]
Adam regales audiences who will listen to his own personal story. He plays it cool and says Here we go! as the rhythm starts and the beat comes in. He tells of his piece of shit car with such conviction, emotional outpouring, and laying his soul bare. His performance about how his car is a fucking pile of shit that never gets him very far, has made fans cry. His car is a big piece of shit, he goes on. Revealing that the shocks are fucking shot. He then goes on with heartbreaking honesty of the seat belts that are fucking broken, and that he must tie them in a knot.
As he relates his experiences with the piece of shit car, he doesn't shy away from letting it be known that his windshield has sustained a big fucking crack. Then he breaks it down and in a solemn voice reveals how the interior smells really bad, because his friend got sick and puked in the backseat. And if that wasn't enough, he admits that his car sucks royal dick.
One by one, he lists the faults and shortcomings of his car. That it has no CD player, and instead an old 8 Track player was installed. He doesn't hold back when he calls out the designer of the vehicle and invites the culprit to do something rather unseemly involving something very personal. That they can also bite his ass. Having no brakes had caused him to be way out of control. Because of this, at least eleven times a day, he was subjected to shouts of Hey! Watch it asshole!
Automobile Issues[edit | edit source]
As Adam has stated, diesel gas sucks ass. Adam would constantly ask what the fuck he did to get stuck with his car. Being too high for Drive-Thru, and smelling like a shoe, he did admit that he was too broke to buy something else. In his own words, he admitted defeat.
As with all pieces of shit cars, the engine likes to flood. And it always fucking stalls. The seat cushions in most models have a big rip, so springs will poke through and cause pain. From minor suffering to possible trauma needing emergency care for those sitting on those seats. Adding to that, the door locks are generally busted and one has to use a fucking coat hanger. Adam complains that he cannot get any dates because of his car.
Adam points out the bald fucking tires, and no rear view fucking mirror. It was also reported to have seven different colors, and a rag for a gas cap. Plus the tail pipe will cause sparks to fly everywhere. With a final bow, he laments that the whole town thinks he's a loser.
List of Everything Wrong[edit | edit source]
To recap, here is a list compiled from the painstaking work by Adam Sandler who penned the elaborate lyrics.
- Doesn't go very far
- The shocks are shot
- Seat belt is broken and must be tied in a knot
- The windshield has a large crack
- The interior smells like puke
- No CD player
- No brakes
- Too high for low clearances
- Still smells bad
- Engine will flood
- Engine will stall
- Springs poking out from big rips in cushions
- Door locks are broken
- Bald tires
- No rear view mirror
- Multi colored
- No gas cap
- Hanging tail pipe
See Also[edit | edit source]
