Physical chemistry

Physical Chemistry or Apocalyptic Physical Chemistry, written by scientologists whose brains were infected by virus called phyusikos mathematica, is a the book of revelation of the church of scientology brainwashing people the doom of universe with a bunch of randomly combined equations. Every science student must profess his belief of Apocalyptic Physical Chemistry and whosoever doubts it will be locked into a box to commit quantum suicide.

Unlike Christian apocalypse, there's no ultimate triumph of divinity but an ultimate omnipresence of dullness just as the book itself. That's why professors of physical chemistry make you so bored that your brain will be shut down without your iphone: they give you a tangible feeling of the dead universe.

Thermodynamics

Thermodynamics is the prophecy part of how a god named entropy gets bored and wants the world to burn. But first, you must know how bored he is! So share his pain of math physics math physics math...physics... you know there's nothing new created but bullshit of mathematics and thus the world dies in boredom.

Laws

Zeroth: Simple mathematics...used to remind you of your lousy math teachers only.

First: The god is conservative, oh he's a Republican.

Second: Let's mess up the world or there's no fun.

Third: You want absolute zero? Tell me your bank account, I will help...

Kinetics

Kinetics evaluates how fast entropy kills everything.

Quantum

Quantum doesn't exist! No does string. It's just the schizophrenic invention of physicists whose brains are infected by phyusikos mathematica sent by Entropy to establish entanglement with him. The infected brain will be quantized by mysterious operators, mainly Hamiltonian, so the man is both sane and insane. It increases the entropy so dramatically that your brain cells die faster than prion infection. This is called quantumia, the main symptoms of which is feeling everything vibrates like waves and seeking their functions; unable to stand still (you have momentum-position uncertainty); feeling both alive and dead; collapse of brain functions (when the other entangled function collapses). There's one option left before it's too late: leave everything related to physical chemistry (including this page). But don't tell anyone of this secret or you will be sent to Minitrue to learn advance scientological bullshit. Everyone die disbelieving physical chemistry will be condemned to hell of quantum mechanics.