"What the hell is that?"
~A random black man on The Niggle
"Whoever said that the black man made a good slave was baked."
~Abraham Lincoln upon seeing a Niggle work in the White House
"I saved what?"
~Abraham Lincoln hearing that he freed Niggles
"Let it go."
~A plantation owner after realizing one of his Niggles escaped
The niggle is a generic term to describe a black person, crossed with a white person, that has become a social screwup or "loser." The word "niggle" is derived from the latin word Nigger, and is also related to the term, nerd. They are commonly referred to as one of the most annoying races ever created, and are one of the easiest targets for amateur and seasoned racists alike.
Description[edit | edit source]
A niggle is a weak and very small nigger. They are short and their arms have the circumference of a baby's dick. They are mostly black in color, but are very white, even Ku Klux Klan white, on the inside. They are also quite soft and touching one can be described as touching chocolate pudding put in the microwave.
Niggles can be quite intelligent, and that is their only skill. derp a herp derp derp herp of derp hurr herp of tying their shoes, and usually resort to the infamous Sketchers footwear, Z-Straps. Niggles cannot fight at all and the most the can do is issue a harmless slap or attempted kick that hurt as much as shit being thrown at your face.
These creatures wear clothes such as short shorts and polo shirts, known as gaywear, and socks called tube socks, although their real name is n00b socks. A Niggle's eyesight is very weak and are forced to wear Farsighted Attatchment Gadgets, or "FAGs." Hairstyles range from baldness to afros and refuse to wear picks, but it is not unusual to find strange things in their hair, such as pencils or pieces of paper or even dildos [their gay patners] stuck in there. im a niggly niggle
History[edit | edit source]
Unlike a nigger's history, which is filled with bullshit made for us to laugh at, the story of the niggle is a tragic one.
Origin[edit | edit source]
The first tuna were created when a clown raped a purple cheese at seven o'clock. So, the defective niggle was born, and the white woman gave it up for adoption (or "auction"), and the niggle worked in the house. But, for some reason the niggle thought it would be funny to talk back and be disrespectful, and was forced to use shrooms and the frail body became paralyzed and was given away to a gay couple living next door.
The gay people, who supported freedom of rights and all that shit, gave the niggle pot and it had a vision. So, the niggle, also known as Harriet Tubman, saved the other niggles without violence. Because there are were few niggles at the time and Tubman was using regular Niggle methods, few black people were saved. That was how the niggles were put into today's society.
Religion[edit | edit source]
Most niggles are Nintendoists, and worhip the Holy Trinity: Mario (God), Kirby (Jesus), and Gumby (The Holy Ghost). All Nintendoists believe that Gumby will return to Earth, and they worship him by wearing Gumby accessories. They also see Kirby as a sex symbol, and this can be left to your imagination. They think Mario is God because he is white and is part of the Italian Mafia, and is so cool that shrooms give him extra lives.
The most common way niggles worship their gods is by use of the "Divine Screen," or the Nintendoist DS. Niggle hierarchs, such as Martin Luther King Jr., use the ancient relic called the Nintendoist GayBoy.
Language[edit | edit source]
The niggles have created a language that is slightly different from the "Yo Motherfucker!" nigger language.
Common Translations[edit | edit source]
Fuck you! = Stop it!
Piece of Shit! = Gumby hater!
I love you Kristine! = I love you Chris!
Famous Niggles[edit | edit source]
Other Niggles[edit | edit source]
- Black Jello
- Fuk'ed Upp (African)
- Harriet Tubman
- Steve Urkel
- S. 'Coach' Hall
Sexuality[edit | edit source]
Niggles are gay becuase they believe in coodies and are confused is they should go after someone who is white or black or a fellow niggle. It is unknown how the species spreads because they do not mate with the opposite sex and don't have sex organs, although they are known to nest. For more information, see Barack Obama's birth.
The Slavery Family Tree[edit | edit source]
The Niggle Hunter[edit | edit source]
Niggle hunters are violent racists that target niggles that have drifted away from their packs, which are similar to gangs except they smoke catnip. The Klan does not assault Niggles because they are white enough to become a Klansman, and a burning cross in a niggle's yard only makes God smile and give the Klan a thumbs up.
Niggle Hunters are people that just want to have a laugh, and obviously tripping a niggle and leaving him to bleed in an alley is the perfect way to get a laugh. Some people aren't even born wanting to hurt niggles, but a niggles high pitched and bitchy voice is quite provacative. Some people say that the fist time Terrorists heared Obama talk was the day the Twin Towers collapsed and the day he became president was the day Osama came out of hiding.
The hunters have even created a hitlist of what they should be trying to beat on.
4. A regular Niggle
3. An Asian Niggle
2. A Nigglet
1. A black version of Cailou
The methods of Niggle Hunting vary, but niggles are usually seen grazing in open fields are try to stay away from the woods because it is to dark and their FAG glasses don't work in the dark. But, Niggle Hunting is pretty much based upon the pure hatred of the annoying beings.
Niggle Facts[edit | edit source]
Niggles are: Possibly gay; brown in color, but called black for unknown reasons; homosexuals; not niggers; shitty in color, but it turns white the older it is; faggots; the enemy (think junior Somalians); gay; so fucking annoying; like the Taliban, but can't fly planes; almost black; just plain gay.