L3/33

"I could've sworn there was a small exoplanet around here." - Extraterrestrials that don't know the L3's true power

"Can I adopt it?" - Random civilian

An L3/33 used during the invasion of Alpha Centauri

The L3/33 tank (also commonly referred to as "your best nightmare" or the "WHY THE FUCK WONT IT DIE?!") , is an Italian made tank used to assert dominance. There are several variants of the L3/33, such as the L3/33A, which was equipped with wings and a ceiling fan allowing it to fly at a cruising speed of Mach 25. Most of the L3/33 tanks developed fought across the Battle of Alpha Centauri, the Eastern Front (served as emotional support), the Battle of Trafalgar, the Battle of Kursk (it often pissed on the battlefield to mark its territory), the Battle of Stalingrad, and the recent 2026 US - Iran war. Roughly 30,000 L3/33's have been produced, with around 800 still operating across the middle east and Andromeda to this day.

The L3/33's development and early combat

The bravest of L3/33's fighting for their country with the power of friendship

As the brutal second world war broke out across Europe, the Italians were dragged in despite their recent economic crash due to the evaporation of the Italian Pasta Supply. With the Qing Dynasty led by Emperor Don Szu expanding into their territory quickly, the Italians requested help from Pope Francis for a vehicle to prevent the fall of the Italians. After 5 months of development, the Italians with help from the Pope developed the most successful and most feared thing to ever be created in the universe, the L3/33, which was made with slightly denser pasta well as a speaker allowing the tank to speak, and was named after the lead developer of the L3/33 project, El Thre. The first prototype L3/33's were used during the Siege of Constantinople. The first time the L3/33's saw the battlefield, it made the enemies piss themselves from fear as the sentient tanks brutally destroyed the walls of Constantinople within minutes. The L3/33 was put out of service due to the fact the L3 was "too scary!" by the Italians, but only a few minutes after, one of the L3's threated to obliterate the sun with its NCAP (Nuclear Charged Armor Piercing) round, which would make pizza far too cold to eat, leading to the Italians putting it back into service.

The L3/33 in WWII

The L3/33 essentially did absolutely nothing to help during the second world war since the L3/33's would "rather sleep on a random log in a little pond" than actually fight for their country. A few of the less cranky ones did act as emotional support for their German allies, giving inspirational messages such as "Hitler is watching you" and "You have stinky nose hairs". During an L3's emotional support mission in Stalingrad, a Tiger 1-1-1-1 attempting to take down a soviet KV-2 fired all of its guns at once, causing it to reverse uncontrollably leading to it tumbling down a hill before completely crushing the lone L3.

Specifications of the L3/33

General characteristics

• Armament: a 20mm automatic beam cannon capable of firing NCAP (Nuclear Charged Armor Piercing) rounds at over 200,000 rounds per second
• Engine: our hopes and dreams
• Armor: it has 20mm plates of forged lasagna sheets with an effective thickness of around 4000mm and surprisingly heat resistant allowing the l3 to traverse into a stars atmosphere
• Crew: Loader gunner driver the pasta (sentient).
• Size: yes.