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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/zine

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You're almost done shopping, but since you don't feel like going home to your psycho spouse (whatever sex or sexual orientation you may be), you decide to go look at the magazines.

In the aisle, there are all sorts of magazines, but the one that really piques your interest is the new issue of World Weekly News, which you know is the most accurate news source in your town. You look at the cover story, which states that John Lennon has risen from the dead and is seeking to destroy all those who are pro-war with a pickaxe. You look at your shirt, which says "Kill Everyone!! War is Fun!!", and panic. A man with a monkey who has nothing to hide sees you panicking. He comes up to you and says, "You know that the World Weekly News is just a tabloid, right? None of it's real."

"None?" you ask.

"Nope," he says, "nothing is real. Nothing to get hung about."

You start to think, Where have I heard that before? when the man says, "Except for that cover story-- it's very real." He raises his pickaxe. "And now, you are the walrus."

You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!

That's right:

*** You have won ***








































Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!

Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!