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UnGames:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/north

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You steel yourself for the journey ahead:

Luckily, the shop you are in stocks sherpas, pack-mules and general arctic survival equipment- you stock up on everything you need and begin your long, grim trek. The road is hard, but you persevere, living entirely on suet, your own urine, and the apparently infinite supply of biscuit crumbs in the depths of your coat pocket. Coming to the Arctic circle, you find that Al Gore was right all along, and the polar ice caps really have melted. You notice a lone polar bear, the last surviving in the wild, floating by on a little floe of ice. Your heart wells up with sadness at this tragic sight- The bear, meanwhile, has noticed you and, unfortunately, has a fairly good grasp of the effects and causes of climate change. He leaps from his floe and mauls you in a horrible display of animal savagery. In your final moments, you whisper your last words:

"I'm glad you bastards are dying..."

You feel so powerful after picking up that mysterious phone booth and the bottom of the aisle with it. The woman loves you now, your wallet is suddenly filled with cash, and your acne has cleared up forever!

That's right:

*** You have won ***








































Oh no! It turns out that was just some aliens playing a trick on you from their flying saucer!

Whilst your rosy sense of achievement has distracted you, they have taken the opportunity to quickly suck out your gastric juices with a telescopic bendy straw! In other words, you just lost The Game.

Late Thursday night. You've had a hard day and the last thing you need is this: shopping. Luckily, the place is pretty empty and you're progressing rapidly.

On to the next aisle.

The aisle stretches to the north, and back to the south. The shelves on either side of you block your view of the rest of the supermarket, with only the brightly colored aisle markers visible.

You have stopped your trolley next to the pasta section, bright plastic bags full of pale skin-tone shapes.

There is a brunette woman a few meters ahead, filling her trolley with sauces.

A shiny metal phone booth sits in the center of the aisle.


Your move:

*Secret option!
Super-secret option!
Double super-secret option!