Forum:I'm depressed... :-(

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Alright, maybe I'm not depressed, but I just can't seem to come up with a good article, or any at all, since my precious Ouroboros was deleted. I know this question was posted before on this Dump, but how do YOU guys get your ideas? I need some help. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:55, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

In truth, my schzio-affective disorder has me hear voices that come up with funny article ideas. But it only lasts for up to two weeks at a time. If you are not mentally ill, try to get your ideas from watching TV, or web pages that cover things and think how funny they would be if something was changed with their story, article, etc. If you see a news story on a celebrity, then write an article about it. Your Ouroboros article was funny to me, but then a lot of my articles got deleted as well. I could use some help with HeadOn, Fuck Uncyclopedia, Child Psychology, and other articles I am working on but could use someone else's point of view. At least consider Arab-Israeli Conflict (video game) or an article like that. Adopt an article like HowTo:Be a liberal, which is what I did and wrote it to be funnier and follow the same writing style. If you cannot think up a new article, try adding to an existing one like I do some of the time. Good luck. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 22:23, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

Check out the Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. This is how I came up with my Hairy ball theorem article. --EMC ^[TALK] 23:45, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

I read that article, clicked on the Wiki link, expecting it to be dead, and am astounded to see that something that that exists. Truth, as ever, conspires to shock me. 00:04, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Me, well I just get an idea and try it out. For example, brainstorming, I came up with Giant enemy plant based on Giant enemy crab, and that it's also a common game boss (I still need more giant enemy plants though). With my Playstation 3 rewrite, I made sure to remove any reference of video game playing in the article. Because, Sony's been WAY more into telling the consumer the cool-banking and youtube/myspace features of the PS3 instead of showing off cool games, I took this idea specifically from kutaragis boring TGS keynote.--Witt, of UNion Entertain me* 01:32, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I cut myself so often, that now when I slash my wrists, all that comes out is air. --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 01:53, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Eat more bran: you'd be surprised what you think up when you're on the toilet. While there, read a book, or a magazine, or simply just ponder the infinite nature of the navel. Other than that, most of my stuff seems to start as a one liner, or a pun, or an idea for a pic, or something in the real world that pisses me off. Also I sometimes pick things that no one will ever read, like old TV shows or random detritus from my childhood.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:19, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Don't look for an idea. Look for the funny. Point randomly at something and just start thinking about what is funny. The first ideas will almost certainly be crap and/or cliches, but keep digging. Then write the opening sentence. Make it a ringer. Then the next one, which still has to be funny, but not as funny. Keep doing this until you get to the end of the paragraph. Then shove in some kind of punchline. Use recognition, wordplay, irony, sarcasm and anything else you can grab hold of. Then do it all again and make it even better. Bouncy Castle, for example, is really just one big play on words - following up the interesting disjunction that difference in meaning causes between serious castles and having fun. Everything is funny or has some funny aspect. You don't need to start with an idea, just with some funny.

And remember: Uncyclopedians die. That's what were here for. But uncyclopedia will live forever, and that means you will live forever. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:15, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

L's Ideas Pad, circa πAM

• Indiana Jones + golf balls?
• A page about 8-Bit Theater that doesn't suck. (Impossible?)
• Mt. Rushmore = imprisoned giants?
• Comedy linking
• List of Zork spells (Frotz etc.)
• Reasons to be celibate?
• Weaponised kissing
• "What the hippity-hop? Wikipedia has a Rabbit of Caerbannog article, and we don't?"

Ideas are bloody everywhere

I was talking about this with a friend on Saturday over too much beer. He's just off to a science fiction writer's workshop where he gets to guzzle the holy pee of the Nielsen-Haydens and Cory Doctorow and other such luminaries, assuming he can fight his way to the holy pee first. ANYWAY. I know damn well ideas are everywhere. Since I got a digital camera that doesn't suck, I've started seeing photos that must be taken everywhere I go. I've become sensitised to pics that are good ideas. And reading Smoke And Mirrors by Neil Gaiman, half the bloody stories are about being a writer and getting and using ideas. So we concurred that the question is not "where do you get your ideas?" ... but "how do you recognise ideas?"

I'm still working on that one for Uncyclopedia. I usually work by juxtaposition. Someone will say something or two words will fall together in my head. "Linux Pride" - you just need to think those two words together and the article pretty much writes itself. How do I recognise when a juxtaposition is article material? ... Dunno. Anyone else? - David Gerard 13:04, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

That juxtaposing thing works for me too, sometimes. An odd thought about whorey popstars + Annie...became one line..."Not since Courtney Love starred in the Seattle production has Annie seemed so greasy."...which turned into a rewrite of Annie. A rewrite which, I might add, no one will ever read, because who cares about Annie? A rewrite too that has almost nothing to do with that one line, for some reason.

Solid Gold came from an ad for one of those "Great Pop Songs of X Era" and, if I remember correctly, a story in the paper about a Shari'a court verdict. If that's not juxtaposing, I don't know what is.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:39, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, I wrote my first article since posting this question, so take a look (there's plenty of link humor). I personally think it's a frikkin work of genius, if not a bit politically incorrect, mind you--but Hinoa's pissed at me for something I did and/or said over the irc involving muslims and/or gratuitous use of the term "sand nipper", which as we all know is just a humorous euphemism for a racial epithet by a similar name which we cannot and will not name, for if we do, the NAACP, ADC and most likely several other like-minded "organizations" will get on my, your, and/or our asses the moment they catch wind of this, so it's best to end this over-stretched run-on sentence at a point where such words will not come into play. Like now. Read it. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 20:05, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Yikes! From the photos they actually look more like Sand Monkeys or Sand Chimpanzees. Althought you might classify them as Sand Apes. Still the simmiam reference is bad enough. Still Sand Ninjas or borrowed from Star Wars (Sand People) are the politically correct terms or whatever. Throw in some photos from Planet of the Apes if you are taking that direction. Nippers sounds way to close to that N-Word that we are not supposed to use, but Mel Brooks overused it in Blazing Saddles anyway and it was funny in that movie. Also are you trying to mock their race (which makes it racist) or their religion (what makes it religious bigotry), or are you trying to be like people like me and just make fun of everyone equally and not pick on just a few subjects you have a personal beef with? Like when I make fun of liberals, I also write articles that make fun of conservatives. When I write about atheists, I also make fun of christians, scientologists, flying spaghetti monster, etc. Anyway we need a *Politically Correct Police* template for articles such as yours. (Warning this article overuses the offensive word "Nippers", pretend that it says "People" instead). --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 20:47, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, that's the joke, that "sand nippers" sounds like "sand ni**ers" (eek!) which is a common racial slur for people of Arabian decent, and that the reader learns to associate the two, kinda like some Darwinian experiment. As for the racism thing, it's just a joke, don't be a little tight-ass about it. I would write an article about every other religion and ethnic group, but unfortunately, Middle-Easterners are what I do best. I don't have anythign against them, though, i was just going along on everyone's pre-conceived notions of them, which makes it funny. --Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 22:46, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

...not a bad start. You might not get a feature out of it, but you'll probably earn a fatwa or two. I wouldn't say "everyone's pre-conceived notions of them", as it's more of a redneck thing (I hope). As for that term, I used it unbowdlerized in one of my pages, and no one said a thing about it, even when it was on VFH. Yes, I did feel dirty using it. I felt a bit dirty writing the whole thing, actually. But I digress...--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:13, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

<DiZ gives Modusoperandi a bar of soap and a washcloth> And no, when I said "everyone", I meant to imply a common stereotype. We're all a little racist, Moduso, even if you try to deny or make up for it. Nothing to feel ashamed or dirty about. Hell, I don't like the French, but who does??--Señor DiZtheGreat  CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 00:41, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

As long as we've put you on your way to becoming a contributing member to Uncyc again, this forum has done it's job.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:59, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I mean, yeah sure, I guess it is funny and all. That DiZ is becoming a fine upstanding member of Uncyclopedia again. Yet I cannot stand but think how the Radical Funamentalist Muslims will take the Sand Nippers joke? I mean they got upset over cartoons and comments the Pope made, and threw some riots, etc. Ah well, they need an excuse to start up the 911 sequel anyway, because that is the redneck's view on Muslims that Diz is writing from, so Islamic Terrorists will want revenge on the rednecks and destroy most of the beer companies in the USA as a result. I mean, what is the worst that can happen? --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 01:49, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Yeh, damn us, and our Freedom of speech! It's not like a cartoon of the one true prophet™, or a commemorative plate of the one true prophet™...etc, etc.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:21, 3 October 2006 (UTC)