File:Dromedary small.jpg

This is not a picture of Alfred Williams[edit | edit source]

Alfred Williams, the name of a Nigerian government official who has access to significant amounts of West African money ripe for transfer to “your country” in a fee-sharing arrangement, apparently resides in Lagos, according to his IP address. His business practices – which weak-kneed naysayers call “419”, "Nigerian Money Scam", or “advance fee fraud” -- are clearly meant to benefit you, should you be fortunate enough to come in email contact with Mr. Williams.

Having high-level government connections, Alfred has been associated by some with Greatman Nwachukwu of Cotonou, Benin; Addisa Williams of Lagos (possibly related); and Kcopr Tve, who is a Mauritian politician running for president but uses a Lagos IP address. Mr. Williams’ many, many high level connections throughout the West African bureaucracy and political structures will assist you in procuring the many forms and specialists you need to assist you through an easy acquisition of your funds, which often range between USD$1 million and USD$50 million.

[author’s note: While we have yet to see the funds promised by Alfred, and others, we are certain they will arrive just as soon as we send a non-traceable Western Union money transfer for USD$3500 to him. On top of the $16,500 we have already sent.]

There have been many, many unsubstantiated reports of Alfred William’s bizarre sexual habits, including predilections for mice, hares, hogs, bonobos, barbary macaques and infant mandrills. These are unsubstantiated, but we note that many of his peers, such as Greatman Nwachukwu, Addisa Williams and Kcopr Tve have similar rumours about them, and bestiality practices among money-transfer email businessmen are widely believed to be rampant.

A new and successful strategy is this: if asked to transfer money, offer them an animal with which to have “relations”, rather than provide them with funds. Based on the widespread bestiality reports, it is believed that this will speed along the transaction [author’s note: we have been trying this and are certain it will work to recover the former finance minister’s brother’s son’s money].