Dr. Edward Richtofen

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A proper psychopath

Doctor Edward Richtofen is a fucking looney bin that lost his damn marbles.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Dr. Edward Richtofen.





Childhood[edit]

Richtofen bullying a poor Jewish child in the fifth grade.

Edward Richtofen was born in krautland of beer men, Germany in 1889. Edward was a brilliant young man, but a very troubled child. He would constantly excel in school and was very enthusiastic about Biology and Chemistry, but unfortunately he and his childhood friend Adolf Hitler constantly bullied Jewish kids by trying to gas them with a compound Hitler made called Zyklon B in chemistry class. This would get him in very big big big bad bad bad not very good trouble and hiz mummy would spank him veri veri bad. On top of that Richtofen constantly tried to do experiments on his family's dog. The poor doggo constantly was abused physically and sexually by young Eddie. He would constantly inject the pupper with heroin, and try to clone the dog by using strands of its hair. Eventually Eddie's parents found out when his little sister snitched on him like the little asshat she was and his parents physically abused him, dropped him on his head repeatedly, and chained him up in their attic like an animal for the next 5 months. This only made him go even more insane than he was before and his parents really should've changed their style of parenting, because all the head trauma and mental torture fucked him for life. One time he stuck a jumper cable to his pet hamster and to a car and as punishment was made to take a shit in the toilet and then given a swirly in that same toilet and was locked in a closet next to a bucket of his own shit for a year with very little food. His mental condition got so bad to where he needed a psychologist to help him recover.

Formation of Group 935[edit]

Richtofen in his adulthood got as far away from his parents as possible, because they were abusive fucks. He went on to meet a new friend known as Dr. Ludvig Maxis. The two met when they were in college and graduated together. When they were finally legally aloud to refered to as "Doctor", they started a drug business due to their expert chemistry skills. The Called it Group 935 or Da Bad Boiz and started out as a street-side crack-cocaine dealer.

One day however they discovered a new drug! A space rock called Element 115. After that 935 became the talk of the town, because WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T WANT TO SMOKE A FUCKING METEOR!? of how exotic the drug was, however they needed to go BIGGER and become a global enterprise and to do this they needed more publicity.

Luckily, Edward got in touch with his old childhood friend, Adolf. Adi apparently was the talk of the nation as he had made a new movement known as the Nazi movement, but the Nazis were Nazeeing (bad pun) not seeing the benefits of selling drugs and how it could financially benefit them. Eddie, being a long time friend of Adolf, convinced him to let 935 be an official Nazi science branch.

SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![edit]

Richtofen did all sorts of terrible or just plain weird experiments like making a gun that shoots lightning, a monkey with a bomb on it, and some say he is responsible for the creation of Furries! The fact he'd even create such a horrid abomination like that in which plagues our world TO THIS VERY DAY just shows how SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK IN THE HEAD HE IS! You can already tell this motherfucker has lost his damn marbles and can't find them again. Maybe it is because his mother dropped him on his head when he was an infant? I don't know, nor do I care.

One day he created corpses that could walk and these corpses were very very salty faggots like some kid that you would encounter in a Call of Duty: MW2 lobby and would attack anything that wasn't them and eat the flesh of their victims. Eventually some Scientologist threw bread at Maxis and his daughter which sent them to the moon and the corpses started an apocalypse.

Where is he now?[edit]

He is traveling with crazy national stereotypes across the multiverse and through time itself to fix the bullshit he started with the zombies.

Richtofen and his retarded "friends".